Another Man Might Have Been Angry . . . November 19, 2020November 18, 2020 First, if you don’t already know it, you have to listen to Harry Chapin’s “Taxi”, truly one of the greatest ballads of all time. What a gift. She was gonna be an actress, and I was gonna learn to fly. And now, with profound apologies to that same late, great Mr. Chapin — and in keeping with my long-chronicled hobby of eating expired food — I offer a song I was inspired to write after a surprisingly good dinner. Click here for Drew Brody‘s outstanding rendition as you read the lyrics below: https://andrewtobias.com/wp-content/uploads/Chicken.mp3 It was sitting two years in the freezer, Labeled “best, by twenty eighteen.” I found it in the back ‘hind some chocolate ice cream; Not the oldest chicken I’ve seen. * You see I, think, old food expires Once it starts smelling poor. So that’s, when, I’m ready to toss it — And not a moment before. * A pound, of vacuum-packed chicken, Two deboned breasts ready to go. I musta’ bought them for some dinner Such a long, long time ago. * Oh I know, “Gross – trichinosis!” That’s what we’re trained to think. What TO-tal, old-wive’s-tale bull crap; My rule: eat if it don’t stink. * I’ll admit that I stopped to consider What my friends would say if I ‘uz wrong. “HE expired, eating old-rotten-food; Surprised, it TOOK so long.” * Well another man might’a just tossed it. And another man might not’a dined. But waste-not want-not is my motto — I nuked those breasts, and dined fine. * You see, she was gonna be a chicken; And I have yet to learn to fry. She just wound up being dinner; And no. I didn’t die. * Didn’t die. Didn’t die. Didn’t die. Have a great day.