Skip to content
Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

  • Home
  • Books
  • Videos
  • Bio
  • Archives
  • Links
  • Me-Mail
Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

What Was THAT?!

December 6, 2007March 10, 2017

SNEEZING LIKE A GUY (SORT OF)

I am a loud sneezer. When I sneeze, people notice. Heads bolt upright, like gazelles on the savannah . . . what just happened? what might come next? . . . when in fact it was only me, sneezing. And what comes next, generally, is a second sneeze. And then it’s over.

I type this on my Blackberry, waiting for my train, having just left the sushi place in the Food Mall in the basement of Union Station. (Obviously, Charles is not with me.). Moments ago, sitting, sipping my diet Coke, suddenly — ha-SHEEESH!

The sushi chef’s head snapped up from his work. Passers-by swiveled. A transit cop reached for her gun. But then, almost as fast, shoulders relaxed and looks of amusement crossed people’s faces as they began to make sense of it.

‘It’s okay,’ I waved, smiling. ‘Everything’s all right. I’m a loud sneezer.’ To which I added gestures that said, in effect, ‘No need for applause; thank you very much; tell your friends.’

An attractive young couple standing at the sushi cash register smiled broadly. Anything is novel and noteworthy when you’re young and in love.

The guy smiled broadly as he and his girl friend departed, California rolls to go. I could see we had made a momentary connection, so I said, ‘Hey, I’m sitting down. You should see me sneeze standing up. I stamp my foot and everything. It’s quite a show.’

‘God bless you he said,’ almost a little too earnestly, leaving me to wonder whether he was playing along or a young missionary come to work for the Romney campaign.

I figured I might find out on the trip to New York, but they were evidently headed someplace else.

Post navigation

← Mozy
FMD Changing Symbol to UGH →

Quote of the Day

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"

David Sarnoff's associates on his advocacy of radio in the 1920s

Subscribe

 Advice

The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need

"So full of tips and angles that only a booby or a billionaire could not benefit." -- The New York Times

Help

MYM Emergency?

Too Much Junk?

Tax Questions?

Ask Less

Recent Posts

  • Anyone? Anyone?

    July 11, 2025
  • "PAPERS PLEASE" -- Trump's Very Own Gigantic Police Force

    July 9, 2025
  • 5 Links And A Joke Walk Into A Bar

    July 8, 2025
  • There WAS No Cherry Tree

    July 7, 2025
  • "The Most Popular Bill Ever Signed In The History Of Our Country"

    July 6, 2025
  • Unbelievably Bad -- Literally

    July 4, 2025
  • Repeal The Steal

    July 2, 2025
  • Our Record-High Stock Market

    June 30, 2025
  • Stuffing The Goose

    June 30, 2025
  • Yes! (Plus A Bonus)

    June 29, 2025
Andrew Tobias Books
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
©2025 Andrew Tobias - All Rights Reserved | Website: Whirled Pixels | Author Photo: Tony Adams