“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” – Henry Ward Beecher
There are your limericks, your two-guys-walk-into-a-bar, your knock-knocks, and your paraprosdokians. In the latter, some simple thought takes an unexpected turn. This list has been making its way around the Internet:
1. “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
6. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
7. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
8. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
17. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
18. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
19. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
20. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
This clip from Monday’s Rachel Maddow starts out with carmageddon – L.A. is about to shut down a 10-mile stretch of one of its freeways to widen it – but then connects it to the debt ceiling crisis with (at minute 4) must-watch footage of Mitch Daniels – then George W. Bush’s Budget Director – explaining on Meet The Press why the debt ceiling had to be raised. Today’s Republican leadership voted to do so 19 times during the Bush years. But now that Obama is in . . . well, watch the clip.
The wealthy are job creators. They must not be taxed as they were under Clinton, when the job creators created 23 million new jobs. They must be taxed as they were under Bush, when they created almost none at all.
McCONNELL V. OBAMA
Finally, there is this 5-minute CBS Evening news interview with President Obama. If you missed it, it may leave you gasping for a paraprosdokian . . . yet feeling, I think, that we have a President so calm and thoughtful and sensible that 80% of the country will agree with him. Which just might be enough to get the Republicans to do what’s right for the country. So we could have a positive resolution to all this yet.
Quote of the Day
I was getting into my car, and this chap says to me, ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said, ‘Sure. You look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.’~Tommy Cooper
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