Tag: cooking

My ostrich burger patties arrived from Louisiana — $3.50 a pound plus second-day air freight. The cooler kept it all frozen, and the burgers, which have about one-eighth of the fat of hamburgers and fewer than half the calories, tasted just about the same. Unlike turkey, or chicken, ostrich is very red meat. (Incidentally, my apologies for a typo in that nutritional table: the cholesterol numbers expressed in grams, as one of you sharp-eyed readers pointed out, should have been labeled milligrams.)

And for you vegetarians in the crowd (hey: looking at that very red meat has given me serious vegetarian thoughts), I recommend Health Valley fat-free “Healthy Soup in a Cup” — specifically, the “corn chowder with tomatoes.” I’m not saying it’s particularly frugal, at about $1.89 for what becomes 15 ounces of soup (though at least you don’t have to have it air-shipped, and no one has to chop its head off while it’s in the sand). And I’m not saying it’s all that elegant to be eating soup out of the same cup you cook it in. (Charles is in Paris or I’d never get away with this.) But I just love the efficiency of it all. It weighs next to nothing (cuts down on shipping and lets you “lug” a dozen of them home with your little finger). It tastes great (warning: I am an easy audience). And all you do is pour some boiling water into the cup (or microwave), let sit, drink, and toss out the cup. Not a bad hot lunch at the office once you get the hang of how long to microwave it. Who says life isn’t getting better every day? (What’s that? You object to tossing out the cup? Well, rinse it out and then use it for your coffee.)

Meanwhile, as I was hard at work taste-testing this stuff for you, my Russian stock broker coughed up every penny I was owed. It wasn’t like investing here, where you know you’ll get the proceeds of your sales promptly. The dollars took more than two months to arrive. But — to my mild surprise and great delight — I got back every cent of my original investment plus a nice fat profit (which you can rest assured I promptly blew on some other stupid investment). I think it certainly helped to have a friend on the scene to make some calls. And it helped that I spent a few hundred dollars to hire a firm that specializes in such matters. What I don’t know, and may never, is whether my Russian broker was actually trying to keep my money, or whether he had encountered difficulties and bureaucratic weirdnesses of his own. (“This is Russia!” after all, as people there are fond of saying.) But I said I’d let you know what happened, and that’s what happened.

I continue to think that, while speculative, Russia represents quite an opportunity. If the Templeton Russia Fund (TRF) should tank one of these days, perhaps on the eve of Yeltsin’s operation, or if it fails to go well, or there’s some other big scare, I think I’d pick up a few more shares. It’s risky . . . but not if it represents only a small portion of the funds you earmark for long-shots.

Finally, an update on my friend Jim Halperin’s first novel, The Truth Machine. It was no place two months ago and is now in every bookstore in the country, more or less, making me green with envy and Jim green with greenbacks. It’s an amazing story made more so last week, when Warner Brothers optioned the movie rights for big bucks. The producer is Bruce Berman, who was the studio head for the last two Batman movies and all three Lethal Weapons. And what I hate most about Jim Halperin is not his extraordinary success — that I suppose, as a friend, I could learn to abide — but the ease with which he does all this, part-time, while running a business. As we speak, I’m on page 257 of his second novel. Sad to say, it’s a lot of fun.

AMERICAN EXPRESS REWARDS – SAVE $50?

I think that in your May 14th comments on the American Express Rewards Program you should have mentioned that membership costs $25 per year (1st year waived) and $50 to enroll using a Corporate American Express Card. I’m sure Mr. Broad doesn’t worry about the fee, but others might.” [I had passed on the report of SunAmerica’s Eli Broad charging a $2.4 million Roy Lichtenstein painting to his Amex “to get the miles.”]

One interesting avenue explained to me by the nice lady at American Express is to enroll your personal card for the $25.00 fee and then link your Corporate card as a secondary card for free.” — Peter Iannone

Thanks, Peter. I don’t have a corporate card, but if I did, it sounds as if you’d have saved me $50.

OSTRICH MARINADE

David Davis, Public Relations director for Dallas’s Adolphus Hotel, read my comment about ostrich steak and suggested the following marinade. I’m not entirely sure what a marinade is — I think it’s what you let the ostrich steak sit in for a day or two before actually cooking it — but I know some of you will follow this as easily as others of us follow yield curves.

Ingredients:

6 whole lemons, skinned
6 sprigs fresh thyme, cleaned and stemmed
3 shallots, chopped
5 pearls garlic
2 tablespoons whole peppercorns (or 2 ounces)
4 cups salad oil (or 28 ounces)
3 tablespoons honey (or 3 ounces)

Directions:

Place the above ingredients–except for the salad oil–in a blender. Mix the ingredients well while slowly adding the salad oil a little at a time. When the mixture is thoroughly blended, pour it over the ostrich meat in a tight-fitting basting pan. DON’T STRAIN THE MARINADE. Cover with plastic wrap and chill for 4 to 6 hours. Sear each ostrich portion and finish in the oven at 375 degrees for 10 minutes (max). Serve medium rare with fresh fruit, a sweet sauce (blackberry, for example) or a honey vinaigrette. Since it has virtually no fat, the ostrich meat has to be cooked sparingly. It dries out very quickly.

Let me know if you and your friends have problems with this recipe. I can find out how to fine-tune it for you. (I’m no help personally in this area. The kitchen in my condo is used as storage space for my financial records.)

Remember: Don’t strain the marinade!

HOOVER – BIG DAM, NOT SUCH A SMALL MIND AFTER ALL

And while Mr. Davis has the floor, here is yet another remarkable message (remarkable for the trouble he went to on our behalf). It is in response to my July 25 comment on Herbert Hoover. Hoover was writing to film studios in 1917, urging them to stop using real food in their movies. Either use something fake or take out the scene, he suggested, which I took to be a rather petty contribution to the War Effort. Was the fellow conserving steel by suggesting reuse of paper clips soon America’s Vice President?

But Mr. Davis adds perspective:

I went by the library after lunch today and flipped through some biographies on Herbert Hoover to see if I could find your letter referenced. No luck. But the books confirmed that he was appointed “Food Czar” by President Woodrow Wilson in May 1917. According to biographer Eugene Lyons, this is what happened: “In the months before his return [from Europe], he [Hoover] had made for Mr. Wilson quiet surveys of food, shipping, and other elements of war. . . . From the first, ‘food mobilization’ had been recognized as America’s number one obligation if and when it joined the war. The formation of a special agency to deal with every phase of food provisioning was the President’s suggestion, but the availability of Hoover doubtless hastened the decision. In conference with Wilson, on May 5, Hoover accepted the invitation to organize and head up this agency. He made the same stipulations he had made in assuming the Belgian burden; first, that he was to receive no pay, and second, that he was to have full authority.” Lyons goes on to say that “Some twenty million individuals–housewives, restaurant managers, food processors, wholesalers, retailers, shippers–signed pledges making them ‘members’ of the Food Administration, as attested by a certificate and lapel buttons. . . . The very landscape of America shrieked the reminder, ‘Food Will Win the War!’. . . .” More than you wanted to know, but there you are.

Sounds vaguely like Gerald Ford’s WIN pins — Whip Inflation Now.

I just found the Ceres web site. You are obviously associated with Ceres. What is that association? Are you a principal? By your association are you recommending Ceres? In your books you seem to espouse mutual funds over individual stocks as an investment. Have you changed your mind? — James Griffin

My association with Ceres: they pay me (generously) to write these comments. I have no stake in the company and no relationship beyond that. True, I wouldn’t have accepted the assignment if I doubted the company’s integrity. But so far as I know, they are sound and principled — and at $18 a trade, I had little fear anyone would be overcharged.

I still espouse low-expense, no-load mutual funds — for example, in the disclaimer at the top of each of these comments. But like a lot of people, I trade stocks anyway. Even (horrors!) the occasional option. When I do, I like to keep my transaction costs low. I do maintain “full-service” accounts at a well-known firm, but it is mainly out of loyalty to my long-time friend/broker there — a relationship begun several years before there were discount brokers or personal computers at all. I don’t have an account at Ceres, but have been very pleased with my account of several years’ standing at Accutrade, owned by the same parent. Accutrade costs more than Ceres, but I’m too lazy to switch. I also have an account at Fidelity, but use it mainly as a checking account.

Tomorrow: Ripley’s – Believe It Not

Bagels: the staff of life. But what if they go stale? Just give them 15 or 20 seconds in the microwave. It’s a miracle! Indeed, you will never have to throw out stale bagels or bread or buns or muffins again. Think of the money you’ll save!

(I’m less sure what to do if they’re moldy. I know mold on cheese can be a good thing.)

The same microwave nightmare that reheats but turns a crispy pizza crust mushy is the salvation of your stale baked goods.

You heard it here first. Or has Martha Stewart beaten me to it?

Much of the fun of writing this daily comment is the daily feedback. Herewith, a sampling:

With respect to the comment about my Rastafarian employee who’d been arrested for possessing a pound of marijuana — is society best served by paying to put such people in jail, I wondered? — came this sensible reply:

“I haven’t smoked (pot) in years and don’t want my granddaughter to, but the current system has proven ineffective and is a waste of tax dollars. If we are trying to protect people from themselves by making marijuana illegal, then what the hell does a drug bust do to their life?! (Never mind screwing up what could have been a fine day.)”

(As it turned out, the marijuana was confiscated and the charges dropped.)

With respect to my Jacqueline Onassis letter to Rudolf Nureyev, where I asked whom Jackie might have been referring to when she said, “Caroline is so jealous of Tina” — who was Tina? — one of you answered:

“Christina — Onassis’s daughter.” You kindly omitted . . . “you moron” . . . from your message, but you would have been fully entitled to think it.

Finally, with respect to baked potatoes, one of you wrote:

“Substitute parsley or chives for “lots of salt” and try the Light & Lively V-8, and I’ll give you a big Aaa…men!”

Another of you wrote:

“Think how much money you would save if you put that big potato in the same glass with the V8. Not only will it save on dish washing detergent, salt and pepper, you wouldn’t have to worry about burning the roof of your mouth.”

Touché.

Looking for a way to save money? The E in POTATO stands for “excellent.”

Microwave a big one until really mushy, with the skin all thick and wrinkled . . . add lots of salt and pepper and a tall glass of V8 . . . and you’ve got a healthy fat-free lunch for about a dollar. Save $4 a day this way for a year and, apart from helping to shed an unwanted pound or two, you’re $1,400 richer.

Careful: don’t burn the roof of your mouth.

Tomorrow: Priority Mail

Welcome to my “daily comment.” The ground rules Ceres and I have agreed to are simple. I can write whatever I want, ranging from a sentence to an epic, and nothing is off limits.

I can even say things like, “Don’t trade stocks yourself — for most people, it’s smarter to invest through no-load mutual funds.” Which it is. (Not that this has ever stopped me from testing my hand against the pros.)

Most days, I’ll presumably write something vaguely related to money, since money is much on my mind. But don’t be amazed by a political screed or two, or a recipe for low-fat lunch. (OK, here it is: take one low-fat Bilinksi chicken sausage, microwave 90 seconds, place across a slice of low-fat bread, drown in ketchup, envelop in your fist, and eat, being careful not to bite off a finger in your enthusiasm — it’s that good. )

On the theory that we should start with something simple, like cash, today’s “comment” is an ode to automated teller machines.

Some people still don’t like using them, but for most of us it’s hard to remember that just 20 years ago ATMs barely existed — and were met with considerable animosity when they were. Even the press was dubious. “People will never trust them,” was the general reaction. Not me. I love machines, am only so-so with humans, and hate standing in line. So I was an “early adopter.”

But what I learned 20 years later — last weekend, in fact — is how one big New York bank, Chemical, decided to overcome resistance and build usership. A massive educational ad campaign? Nah. Supposedly, according to a friend who used to work there, Chemical simply programmed the machines to occasionally dispense extra cash. Knowing New Yorkers, Chemical knew word would spread. (Remember, back then people counted their cash-machine cash very carefully, to be sure they got what they were supposed to. So if they got an extra $10 or $20, they noticed.)

I can’t say for sure Chemical actually went through with this. Nor what proportion of honest souls, if any, actually turned in their surplus cash (sounds like a college psychology course experiment, no?). But compared with the cost of a major New York City ad campaign, dispensing a few thousand extra twenties is a bargain.

If any of you are working to introduce “digital cash” to a skeptical universe, perhaps there’s a marketing lesson here somewhere. If you need guinea pigs to ply with extra digicash, please include me in the beta test.

Tomorrow: Automated Loan Machines – the latest thing