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Andrew Tobias

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Say You Win the Lottery Or At Least Get Hit By a Bus

November 17, 2006March 5, 2017

SAY YOU WIN THE LOTTERY

Would you take your winnings over 20 years? Or the much smaller lump sum now? You would, of course, take the lump sum. And yet, as this site suggests, it might not end well.

And won’t we be secretly pleased.

Hit it, Klaus:

Oh, schadenfreude, oh schadenfreude; a guilty pleasure I enjoy.
Oh, schadenfreude, oh schadenfreude; I am an awful, awful boy.

My spir-its soar, that I cannot deny; a deep down joy, it truly gets me by;
Oh, schadenfreude, oh schadenfreude; a guilty pleasure I enjoy.

But the point of this is not to get you in the holiday spirit, but rather to spread the wisdom of ‘structured settlements’ should you or someone you love, God forbid, ever get hit by a bus.

JOHN BOGLE

John Leonarz: ‘John Bogle is one of my favorite financial wizards. He has recently addressed the students of Immaculata College on the role of the mutual fund industry and its failings. His remarks were full of wisdom, humor and truth.’

☞ Aren’t they always?

PICKLES

Pickles – click here. This is no way to save money, Lord knows, but the hot-sweets are really good, and I realized I could amortize the shipping charges and lower my average cost per pickle chunk by cutting up some fresh 89-cent cucumbers and dropping the unpickled chunks into the jar to replace the official ones as I speared and devoured them. Overnight, the fresh chunks get . . . pickled. I kept this up over several cucumbers, saving the pickle juice until almost all its heat and sweetness had been transferred to fresh cucumber chunks – and from there to the special pickle taste sensation area that resides under the bridge of one’s nose and extends up behind one’s eyes to the back of one’s eyebrows. Mmm, mmm, good.

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