HELL

I have Outlook on the run. It’s a simple matter of switching to a brand new computer and starting from scratch . . . very carefully . . . with a brand new Microsoft Office 2010. By Monday I could be out of computer hell and fully functioning.

But can I just say that when I ‘created a rule’ on the virgin supercomputer (it probably has more power than a 1984 supercomputer – and do you remember when ‘1984’ was shorthand for ‘the impossibly distant future?’ no, of course you don’t) . . . with the virgin Outlook and with just 6,893 email messages downloaded into it to start . . . and when it asked whether I wanted to ‘apply the rule now?’ and – foolishly – I said ‘yes,’ it then took four hours to run through each of the 6,893 and move those from a particular sender (as 4,706 of them were) to the new file I had created for that sender. Four hours! That’s 240 minutes which is (check my math here) 14,400 seconds . . . so about 3 seconds to move each email to the new folder. I have a niece who could have done it faster than that manually. And she’s five.

Still, I can definitely see hell’s EXIT sign up ahead, and I am psyched.

For now, some odds and ends:

GOLD

A hat-tip to Andrew Sullivan (via my friend Chris) for spotlighting this charming clip: two-and-a-half minutes explaining why gold is . . . well, as good as gold.

SMBC

Aristides’ Chris Brown: ‘The SMBC secondary priced at $19 last night, though it was 2x oversubscribed. Tangible book value of the bank drops from $22.47 to $21.26. It’s a great buy in the $21 range. Management stated it should take them 18-24 months to deploy the extra capital. All things being equal, I believe this will be a $27-$31 stock at the end of that period.’

NABI

Guru: ‘As expected, the second trial of its nicotine vaccine did not succeed in its second Phase III trial. They announced they have hired Piper Jaffray to ‘realize shareholder value.’ They have financial assets worth $3/share. I’m sure there are plenty of companies to merge with that could realize this value.’ Not what we hoped last May, at $5.50 – it closed last night at $1.87. But that’s why I almost always italicize the phrase ‘with money you can truly afford to lose.’

EMIS

Guru: ‘Good news: They showed statistical significance in increased bone density. Bad news: They did not show statistical significance in fractures. So a Pyrrhic victory. Because calcitonin was approved by the FDA before the fracture requirement, they could actually file for FDA approval on the basis of bone density and potentially generate sales, under what is called a 505b2 application. I can’t say that the sales will be very large, though, and I’d be surprised if Novartis continued with the partnership. We will sell and move on.’

Biznscards: ‘Another black eye for guru?’

☞ Ballplayers who bat 650 are considered quite good in some leagues. No one is going to get speculations right all the time.

 

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