Retired molecular biologist Dickson Pratt: “On the subject of ‘stupidity,’ you might want to check out the Darwin Awards. For example, take a look at the 1999 winners.”

Mark Centuori: “Readers enamored with stupid product sites may also derive thrills from Seattle’s treasure, Archie McPhee. No, I haven’t ordered from the catalog, the site, or even visited the store (am I distancing myself?).”

Me, neither. From a quick perusal, this stuff seems a lot stupider than the talking spatula I ordered from

And then there’s this, inspired by our recent discussion of the dining room table with flaps that fold up, allowing the dishes to be washed in place, without ever having to clear or set the table:

Anna Marasco: “In my dream house, all the floors in all the rooms have ceramic tiles. And the walls are wainscoted to four feet with tile. In a discreet location on the floor, one tile is ungrouted. Pry it up and there is a drain. Near the drain, in a hinged ungrouted tile on the wall, is a retractable hose like those at coin operated car washes, that shoots hot sudsy water and hot clean water. The whole room can be hosed down and then squeegeed to a cleanliness that is really next to Godliness. Is that too much to ask?”

Certainly not. Shoulder-height electrical outlets to avoid short circuits, yes? And the furniture and bedding? I assume it is all made of metal, rubber, and upholstered for quick-dry by Speed-O.

Tomorrow: Stupid Life Insurance


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