But now, the important stuff:
Have a new Apple iPhone without the home button? Then in addition to “if lost, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for a reward,” you should tape THIS reminder to the back of your phone: “If the screen suddenly goes black even though you have lots of battery left . . . or if you need to reboot for any other reason . . . just press the UP volume button, then the DOWN volume button, then hold the ON/OFF button for a few seconds until it starts up again.” If I had known that, I would have saved 12 hours’ worry and an hour of actual travel time. At first, I was overcome with gratitude when the Apple genius took 15 seconds to “fix” my phone. But my gratitude — my awe! — were soon mixed with annoyance that crucial little secrets like this do not come engraved on the back of the phone.
Question: Is it still weight-watching if you eat four 70-calorie English Toffee Crunch ice cream bars one after another? And how is it possible that they be 70 calories per bar, as advertised on the carton, when one serving — two bars — is listed as 150 calories? Is this “weight-watching for the innumerate?” Have I been reduced to copy-editing ice cream containers?
It’s been a while since I veered off into the culinary — long-time readers know I am slowly simmering Volume One of Cooking Like A Guy™ — so let me just note two things I’ve recently learned.
First, not only is broccoli good for you — broccoli stalks are just as nutritious as the florets. So snack on the florets, raw; but boil the stalks to eat hot or cold with salt and pepper. You will live longer and healthier, for which I expect credit.
Second, to save energy and water, while you’re boiling those broccoli stalks, gently drop in a dozen eggs. After 13 minutes, remove the broccoli and dump out most of the water. Refill the pot with ice water . . . peel the eggs (this is the only time it will be quick and easy to do) . . . and place them in a water-filled container. You now have a dozen snacks in the refrigerator that will stay good quite a long time.
I had heard of TB12 but not PB2. You know one of my hobbies is eating expired food. People ask how long I’ve owned my condo and I say I’m not sure — I date it by the Kraft Fat-Free Italian Caesar Dressing in the refrigerator, “best purchased by October 6, 2001” but still good. So I must have had the apartment since 2000. Americans waste way too much food.
Which is why it killed me to discover that some 12-year-old peanut butter I had been storing in a cupboard for a rainy day had turned to something that looked fine and spread fine but had taken on the properties of metallic paste. I threw it out. Yes! Me!
A friend, upon hearing this, told me about PB2. “TB12?” I asked him? He’s a huge Tom Brady fan. “No, PB2 — powdered peanut butter. It’s great.” IT’s at least not bad — I’ve tried some. My sense is that it could easily last 20 years. Let me know your thoughts.
Quote of the Day
Talking to politicians about the economy is like talking with eight-year-olds about sex. They have heard all the words, but they haven't a clue.~Michael Aronstein
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