I’ve been talking about Uri Geller, who drove blindfolded through Central Park.

“Nothing unusual about Uri Geller’s driving,” notes Mike Wallin. “All Israelis drive as if they are blindfolded.”

Meanwhile, reports Scott Nicol, “Uri is still around. Seems he’s still making news in Britain, even doing a show for the BBC. I checked his webpage, www.urigeller.com, clicked on a few things and found ‘The Ultimate Bike Project.’ Finally, something I’m familiar with! I have done almost everything with/to bikes. I have worked as a shop mechanic. I have toured, commuted (all weather, minus-40 degrees and in blizzards), and raced (former Amateur Senior 2 — there are five amateur categories with 1 being olympic/pro hopefuls, 5 being newbies).

“So anyway, Uri is promoting this ‘Ultimate Bike,’ where his site claims Bruce Bursford set the ‘Solo Cycle Absolute Speed Record of 207.9 mph on the rolling road,’ producing ‘something like 5,000 watts of power’ and that Bruce ‘accelerated from 0 to 60 mph in 2 seconds.’ Wow! Sign this boy up! I’m quite confident that Greg Lemond never produced anything close to 5,000 watts of power (1000 watts, maybe).

“On some of the other links on this page, the ‘rolling road’ is quite obviously rollers. Rollers are a way of turning a road bike into a stationary bike, and they usually have no resistance. Try hopping on a stationary bike, getting rid of all resistance (fan, belt, etc), and then crank for all you’re worth. How fast did you just go? Zero. But the wheel sure was spinning fast, wasn’t it! Now take a real bike, lift the back wheel off the ground, and crank the pedals with your hands. I can get my bike speedometer to read over 100 mph this way, if I have it in a high gear. Now take that top gear and multiply by 4 (that’s how big of a gear Bruce was using).

“The funniest thing about the article is that Bruce is riding a special ‘aerodynamic’ bike. I don’t think it takes too many brain cells to figure out that aerodynamics (or, more properly, low air drag) doesn’t matter when you aren’t moving. Give me a Huffy beach cruiser and I’ll install a humongous gear and pedal it to 250 mph. You can be my first sponsor!”

And not only can you attain speeds over 200 mph with the Ultimate Bike — you can ride it blindfolded.

 

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