ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS

There are so many things our next President should do first, some big, some small.

Here’s a small one:

‘Under my predecessor,’ he or she should say, ‘it became notoriously difficult and unpleasant for foreign guests to enter our country. Yes, we need to protect our citizens by careful screening at customs; but not at the expense of hospitality. The following steps will be taken to improve the welcome of foreign visitors to ours shores. First, the number of customs agents will be increased as needed to cut the standard wait time to 15 minutes or less. Second, while our visitors are in line, they will be offered complimentary hot chocolate and tea in the winter; complimentary lemonade and iced tea in the summer. Folding or rolling chairs will be provided to those desiring them. We anticipate the added cost per incoming visitor to be less than $25 – a small price to pay to create a favorable first impression on people who, on average, spend $2,000 while they are our guests. We will do this, first, because we are a warm and welcoming people. Second, as a small but real signal to the world that ‘we’re back’ – we are rejoining the community of nations. And third, because we want the word to spread that America is a great place to vacation, a great place to study, a great place to do business. ‘

It would be smoother than that (and I just pulled the $2,000 figure out of the air). But we’d try to find ways to make every visitor feel welcome and well treated. A volunteer Greeter Corps might even be formed – people proud of their country who want to show it off at its best.

FOREVER STAMPS

And while we’re at it – how about saying, in a long list of big and little things that first week, that hereafter all first class stamps, including those already issued, would be valid for first class whatever the prevailing rate had risen to?

YOUR IDEA?

‘End the war’ is already on the list. Can you share a few more?

DENTYNE ICE

As argued previously, it is the perfect food.

Phil: ‘Did you check with your dentist?’

☞ He gave it a toothy grin.

And one of you wrote in to say that Costco has it for what works out to 69 cents a pack. Let’s see. I go through a pack a day, so would save $100 or more on a year’s supply. This is getting better and better.

 

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