1. You’ll laugh until you cry.
  1. What better gift for “the man or woman who has everything” than a book called MY VAST FORTUNE?
  1. What better for the man or woman who wants everything?
  1. You can go to www.amazon.com and get half your Christmas shopping out of the way right now — it hasn’t even hit most stores yet and they’re taking orders at 30% off. Your donees will be thinking they got $23-plus-tax gifts, but they will have cost you only $16.10. A lot cheaper than a juicer. Even cheaper than a cheesecake. You can also get all hardcovers at 30% off at Barnes & Noble, but because they have (wonderful) stores everywhere, they have to add sales tax.
  1. Yes, there will be a small charge for shipping, but think of the time you’ll save, and the wear and tear on your car, by not having to leave the house to shop. Did you know you are 198 times as likely to be injured while driving to the store to Christmas shop as to be stricken with carpal tunnel syndrome while browsing at an on-line bookstore?
  1. You can write funny inscriptions on the flyleaf.
  1. You can give it to your ultra-liberal friends to get them to be less knee-jerk.
  1. You can give it to your ultra-conservative friends to get them to be less jerk.
  1. You can read some of the same stuff you’ve read before. (Warning: Some of the words in this book have been previously read.)

And the number one reason to buy multiple copies of my new book . . .

  1. No batteries required!

 

 

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