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Andrew Tobias

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

The Conservative Light

March 3, 2011March 22, 2017

LOST IN THE CROWD – NOT!

I’ll bet you’ve seen this before. I may even have posted it here myself– horrifyingly, I can’t remember. But here is a photo of the Obama Inauguration so finely observed that you can zoom in on hundreds of thousands of faces. See anybody you know? (Thanks, Joe.)

THANKS FOR DRINKNG

Tim Couch: “Tell us how you did on Honest Tea.”

☞ Tim is referring to the news that Coca Cola bought the remaining roughly 60% of Honest Teas that they had not bought two years ago. The terms are apparently confidential but basically – though it’s a little convoluted by follow-on investments and such – it looks as though I’ll end up having made about five times my money. Wonderful, of course, but not spectacular because (a) going in, the company set quite a high price for the shares it sold; and (b) most new ventures fail, certainly including most of the ones I’ve backed. And that cuts deeply into the profits from the ones, like Honest Tea, that succeed.

Still, it was fun, thirst-quenching, and – in hindsight – I wish I had invested more!

USUALLY IT’S THE LAST NAME I KEEP ANOYMOUS

Someone Else Named Tobias: “We share the same last name. Any relationship or similarity, likely, ends there. I have, any number of times, been asked by people with whom I have become acquainted, if I am related to you. I always tell them, ‘Don’t I wish.’ Then after a few obligatory moments of laughter and, perhaps, another quip or two, I add, ‘Y’know, my grandfather was a con man – not a family tradition we care to perpetuate – who married any number of women and ran off with their money. He managed to impregnate two that we know of and maybe more. So, who knows? Maybe I am related to Andrew Tobias!’ . . . Now, please take no offense. This email is not meant as a disparaging reflection on your ancestry. But during a recent conversation with a prospective new client for my business, it was suggested that you might find the story amusing. Thank you for the fine stock tips and here’s hoping you find the Conservative light someday.”

☞ The conservative light? I wrote back that I did enjoy the story, and that I absolutely do hold many conservative views: that government should not reach into a person’s bedroom or end-of-life decisions or interfere in a woman’s most personal decisions made in consultation with her doctor and her God, if she worships one . . . that the government should take us to war only as a last resort . . . and that government must act aggressively to conserve nature and the planet’s habitability.

But, I told him, I just can’t abide the personal and national impoverishment that results from Reagan/Bushonomics and ineffectual regulation.

The other Mr. Tobias responded graciously; but, no, we don’t seem to be related – by DNA or DNC.

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