Talking Trash Say Hello to Senator Santorum April 23, 2003January 22, 2017 WHY STOP AT HATS? Yaakov Har-Oz: ‘Lest you think a meat hat is the last word in carnivorous fashion, click here. IX-NAY ON THE AM-SPAY Michael Burns: ‘Spamhole does the same thing as SneakEmail but does not require that you register, and the ‘fake’ account stops forwarding automatically at a preset time (up to 72 hours) after you create it.’ MY TRASH CAN I know it’s unnatural to develop feelings for a trash can – let alone to pay a three-digit price for what could otherwise have been a $4.99 purchase – but what can I tell you? The heart has a mind of its own. My Williams Sonoma 10-gallon butterfly trash can is a thing of beauty. It is a brushed stainless steel sculpture – and it’s fun! Far from hiding it flush against the wall, I have it jutting straight out into the small kitchen it effectively bisects. Go crazy with your $3,000 Sub-Zero refrigerator, if you will. Me? I get goose bumps every time I step on the pedal of my $179 hydraulic (hydraulic!), brushed-stainless-steel trash can. It’s been nearly a year now, yet my feelings only grow. OH, AND SAY HELLO TO SENATOR SANTORUM You may have seen what the third-ranking Republican senator said to the Associated Press Monday: “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy . . . polygamy . . . adultery . . . incest . . . anything.” This in the context of the case now before the Supreme Court in which police entered the bedroom of two Texas men, found them having sex, arrested them, and threw them in jail in accordance with the Texas ‘Homosexual Conduct’ law. Once convicted, they were forced to pay fines and are now considered sex offenders in several states (which can’t be a plus when you go on a job interview). Chip Ellis: ‘I have known Rick since college. The only thing that surprised me about his comments was that he made them publicly – he has always been politically crafty. It may have had something to do with his comments from last week criticizing Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist for not including him in the tax bill compromise discussions. Rick always wanted the Senate Majority Leader position. Rick may be trying to solidify his conservative base in a power play.’ When Majority Leader Trent Lott was arguably wistful for the good old days of segregation, not long ago, on the occasion of Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday, he was forced to resign his leadership position. (Lott had previously likened gay Americans to ‘alcoholics and kleptomaniacs’ without Republican sanction.) The question arises whether this rather more direct slur on everyone from Newt Gingrich’s sister to Dick Cheney’s daughter to Arizona Republican congressman Jim Kolbe to perhaps 20 million other law-abiding, tax-paying, nicely dressed Americans is okay with the Republican Party. (The Democratic Party was, of course, quick to denounce it.) The White House, in an inauspicious start, had no comment. I’m not saying you have to be thrilled if you find out your child or uncle or secretary or boss is gay or lesbian – that’s your business. But does the political party that prides itself on wanting to limit the reach of government really want to say it’s okay for police to break into your bedroom and arrest you for what you are doing in bed? Obviously, this happens virtually never. But the point is that it did happen and, when its Constitutionality was challenged, people like the former and current Republican governors of Texas defended it. And now comes the third-ranking Republican in the Senate not only to defend the arrests and convictions, but to liken intimacy between consenting adults to incest. The justification with these things is always the Bible. But it’s worth noting that the Bible was long used to justify slavery . . . ‘slaves, obey thy masters’ (Colossians 3:22) ‘with fear and trembling’ (Ephesians 6:5) . . . was long used to justify denying women the vote . . . and prescribes death for nonvirgin brides (Deuteronomy 23:21). What are Senator Santorum’s views on slavery, suffrage, and death to nonvirgin brides? My guess: ‘against,’ ‘for,’ and ‘against,’ in that order. So why condone the arrest of two citizens in their own bedroom? Why treat gay citizens differently from straight ones? Could the answer be simple bullying bigotry? It would be different if Santorum were 90. (Not to say there are not an awful lot of enlightened 90-year-olds, God bless ’em – my stepdad, for one.) But Santorum is a young man and ought to know better. He should act his age.