I had proposed an eighth day of each week that only I would get to enjoy. The rest of you would be frozen; I would have a chance to catch up.

Jeffrey Schwarz: Do you think one day a week would be enough? Would you, like me, wake up that day and say “Hey, everyone’s frozen! I can take my time about this” and then loaf around and accomplish nothing?

A.T.: There is that risk.

Vincent DeHart: Gee, Andy, but unfortunately for you, the eighth everyone-else-is-frozen-but-me day of the week already exists, but you’re unaware of it because you are among the frozen. I’d let you in on it, except, you know, liability and nondisclosure and all that. I’m truly sorry, but look upon the bright side. The price I pay is aging over twelve percent faster than everyone else.

A.T.: Who said anything about aging faster? This was not part of my plan.

Russell Turpin: “You would have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday but then, while you were frozen, I would have Andyday. Is that too much to ask? (And no, I would not mess with you while you were frozen.)”

Oh, but you would! You would use that extra day to do investment research, putting the rest of us a little bit behind you, or to rest from the exhaustive research that you do the rest of the week, putting the rest of us that much behind in our sleep, or … Well, almost regardless of what you did, it would give you just a bit of competitive advantage over everyone else. You may not think of this as messing around with the rest of us while we are frozen, but these changes to the social environment are important.

As long as it was just you, it wouldn’t be that bad. The overall social environment would remain much the same, except that your edge would be that much more. You seem a nice fellow, so I really don’t mind your being just a bit ahead of the game. With my luck, though, John Travolta will be the first celebrity to buy an extra day each week, and I never cared for him.

The big problem with this is that celebrities tend to pass these secrets around amongst themselves. No, Andy, I don’t completely trust even you with something *this* big. First, you would tell Warren Buffett (and who could complain about that?), but he would tell that smarmy investment banker friend of his, who would tell both his mistress and his boyfriend, and soon everyone would have it except for those of us who are neither famous nor bedding the famous. The celebrity gap would become just a mite wider, and it is already quite wide enough. So I’m sorry: you can’t have an extra day each week unless the rest of us get one, also. It falls under the one-pants-leg-at-a-time rule.

A.T.: Well, excuse me! Who ever said anything about Travolta, or selling these days? Buffett already has one anyway.

From Sue Hoell: You already have Andyday. It occurs when others are sitting in front of their TV sets focused on ballgames. They are essentially frozen, while you and I have an opportunity to catch up.

 

 

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