FREE MONEY

Jeff: ‘I hope Steven Gilbert is aware that there is an annual max to his Dividend Mastercard reward. You may accumulate a maximum of 300 Dividend Dollars in any calendar year.’

PPD

The reader who gave us that profitable tip about Pre-Paid Legal Services has changed from a bull to a bear on the stock because of slowing membership growth, increasing commission costs, and increasing membership costs. He questions whether the company’s potential earnings power justifies the current high price and P/E.

THE LAST WORD ON PUNS – I PROMISE

John Mandeville: ‘There was an African king who lived in a beautiful castle made of grass. In that house was his prize possession, a golden throne. One day, he got word that the neighboring king was planning to invade and steal the throne. The king decided to hide the throne in the attic. As luck would have it, the ceiling collapsed under the weight and the throne hit the king on the head and killed him. Moral? People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

Toby Gottfried: ‘There are over 1000 of those ‘Shaggy Dog’ stories at this here, including ‘Patty Whack’ (#29) and ‘No pun in ten did’ (#76).’

Jeff Cox: ‘You forgot the Buddhist who walked into a pizza parlor and said, ‘Make me one with everything,”

NOW THERE’S AN IDEA [bleeped version]

A sign recently seen in Washington: ‘Would someone please give him a [explicit sex act deleted] so we can impeach him?’

IF YOU CARE ABOUT OUR DEMOCRACY (AND I JUST KNOW YOU DO)

Al Gore never said he invented the Internet, but he does have some thoughts about it – and about our democracy – here. It’s a speech he made a month ago, and it’s long and will of course annoy Bush/Cheney fans. But, thus warned . . .

[Wistful sigh for all the obvious reasons.]

 

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