So I get a lot of brokerage statements at the beginning of each month. There’s the one on which the commissions are all about $8. There’s the one on which the commissions are all about $48. There’s the one I don’t use much a discounter but not a deep discounter where the commissions are typically about $120.
All these statements are easy to read and review.
And then there are the ones I get from my full-service broker, at which the commissions are typically $150 or $250 for trades I could do just as well for $8, but I am Godfather to my broker’s kids. And for more than a year now, these statements to save paper? to drive us nuts? have been printed as follows: Page 1 comes first, then page 2, upside down on the back of page 1, then page 3 like page 1, then page 4 on the back of page 3 and upside down. And so on. The pages have holes punched in them at the top, though I can never recall being sent a full-service, $200-a-trade binder, and I guess the idea is to flip through the pages not from right to left, as one would flip through a book, but as you would page through a wall calendar paging up rather than to the left.
But let me tell you: It’s incredibly annoying.
And don’t I feel better for getting this off my chest?
If only Seinfeld weren’t going off the air, he could do virtually an entire episode on this all-important theme.
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I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen... and replaced by exact duplicates!~Steven Wright
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