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Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Love Is in the Air

February 14, 2000February 15, 2017

George Fescos: “If I were to give a $500 gift of equities for Valentines day, which should I pick?”

Two hundred shares of U.S.A. Floral Products — ROSI. The company has serious problems, but it’s the thought that counts.

(Full disclosure: I own a bunch. I expect it to wilt and die. I began the grieving process long ago. I plan to use it as mulch.)

And now, launching what may become a Very Bad Poetry™ series, to accompany our Cooking Like a Guy™ series . . .

A Valentine Poem

Roses are reddish,
Violets are bluish,
Today is no day
For your spouse to act shrewish.
Give her some stock
Or give him some shares;
They may go to zero
But who the heck cares?
Love is in the air.

.

Daisies are yellow,
Pine cones are brown,
Today is no day
For your spouse to feel down.
Flip her some Intel
Or cadge him some Ford.
At the sight of the confirm
Your spouse will be floored.
Love is in the air.

.

Peonies are purple
Carnations are white.
Today make ’em feel like
A princess or knight.
Transfer some Cisco
Or even a bond.
Whether bald or brunette
It will make ’em feel blond/e.
Love is in the air.

Tomorrow: The “marriage penalty.”

 

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