Yesterday (There’s An Off-Ramp Up Ahead) I referred to Trump’s famous assertion that he would only hire the best people.
So first, just treat yourself to these two minutes, (Thank you, Jimmy Kimmel.)
Funny, no? Did you know all that? I didn’t.
And now, help me make a video.
Or if they’re more tech savvy, get one of your kids to.
It’s one-minute that will cost nothing to produce and — who knows? — might go viral and help a little.
It couldn’t hurt.
So here it is . . . or my rough draft, at least. All improvements welcome!
1. White on black screen, one second:
GOOD AT FIRING
NOT SO GOOD AT HIRING
2. A one-second rat-a-tat compilation, perhaps from here, of:
Trump: “YOU’RE FIRED” . . . “YOU’RE FIRED” . . . “YOU’RE FIRED”
3. White on black screen, one second:
CHIEFS OF STAFF
RUNNING THE WELL-OILED MACHINE
4. A photo of each with dates of his service underneath, one second each . . . intercut with a half-second (or less) of “you’re fired”:
REINCE PREIBUS
January 20-July 31
Trump: “YOU’RE FIRED”
JOHN KELLY
July 31, 2017-January 2, 2019
Trump: “YOU’RE FIRED”
MICK MULVANEY
February 16, 2019-March 30, 2020
Trump: “YOU’RE FIRED”
MARK MEADOWS
(not yet fired)
You can get the photos and dates here.
5. White on black screen, one second:
SECRETARIES OF HOMELAND SECURITY
KEEPING US SAFE
6. A photo of each with dates of his/her service underneath, intercut with a half-second (or less) “you’re fired”:
JOHN KELLY
ELAINE DUKE
KIRSTJEN NIELSEN
KEVIN MCALEENAN
CHAD WOLF (not yet fired)
You can get the photos and dates here.
7. You get the idea . . . maybe do ATTORNEYS GENERAL next (KEEPING THINGS HONEST), with Sessions, followed by Whitaker (and perhaps a few seconds from the Jimmy Kimmel clip above for comic relief), followed by Barr (“not yet indicted”)
8. NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISORS
MICHAEL FLYNN (“not yet imprisoned”)
KEITH KELLOGG
H.R. McMASTER
JOHN BOLTON
CHARLES KUPPERMAN
ROBERT O’BRIEN
photos and dates here
9. DIRECTORS OF NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE
MIKE DEMPSEY
DAN COATS
JOSEPH MAGUIRE
RICHARD GRENELL
JOHN RATCLIFFE (not yet fired)
photos and dates here
10. And then maybe other key posts . . . faster and faster .
A big part of the job will really be finding the best timing and pace.
People who want to can freeze-frame to check names and dates.
Maybe give a little more time to Flynn (“not yet imprisoned”) . . . until the onrush ends abruptly on a black screen:
11.
THIS IS NO WAY TO RUN A COUNTRY
12.
SO NOW IT’S OUR TURN
13.
Photo of Trump, January 20, 2017-NOVEMBER 3, 2020
A dozen unseen men and women, young voices and old, Southern accent, New England accent, LatinX accent — one after another in rapid fire: YOU’RE FIRED.
Can you put that together for us? A powerful minute millions might share.
If you’re worried you’ll be wasting our effort because someone else will, just me-mail me first. But from my point of view, nothing would be better than to unleash a dozen variants . . . or to combine the best elements of each.
For fairness, we should make a distinction between those he fired and those who were merely “acting” and replaced. So for those, I’d suggest some kind of “acting” designation below the photo, and instead of the “You’re Fired” clip, maybe the clip of Trump saying, “Bye-Bye.”
Come to think of it, for Jeff Sessions, instead of “you’re fired,” how about the “I’d like to punch him in the face” clip? With a little disclaimer that reads, “not said about Sessions, but clearly how he felt.”
Have fun with this! Do it exactly as above — or add your own magic and do it better!
Put it on your Facebook page and let me link to it as well.
Or if you prefer anonymity, let me post it directly here and give you some tasteful pen name, the way Hamilton and Madison and Jay wrote the Federalist Papers.
No question: these next few weeks are history in the making.
