Lawyer Jokes, 40 Years Later

The legal system — which we all wish were swift, affordable, and fair — is instead wildly slow and expensive; and, too often, capricious or corrupt.

Two examples of special interest to me:

1. ParkerVision . . . which had its $172 million jury award thrown out by a judge, and which has since been pursuing its claims for a decade with delay after delay.  (There’s still hope.  I’m not selling my shares.)

2. The Supreme Court . . . which installed George W. Bush (who lost Florida by more than 40,000 votes, had all been counted fairly) . . . who then tilted the Court still further right, so it could enshrine Citizens United and gut the Voting Rights Act . . . which gave Trump the presidency; and us, its current composition:

Six of nine appointed by presidents initially elected with a minority of the popular vote.

As for Clarence Thomas, who skipped the classes on judicial ethics and recusal . . .

. . . to which they might have added a hyphen between “six” and “figure,” as well as mention of indirect benefits via his wife and mother.

With regard to the Presidential Immunity case, now scheduled for an April 22 hearing, the Court should have done one of three things:

  1. Declined to hear the appeal.  After all, the Circuit court’s decision was unanimous, and — not surprisingly — held that presidents cannot murder their political opponents with impunity as Trump friends Putin and Kim do.
  2. Heard it back in December, as requested.
  3. Scheduled it for the week it was filed.  Right?  Both sides had just finished making their arguments to the Circuit court, so it was all fresh in mind, little or no new prep required.  And, given a case of such importance to the Republic, the Court could have added a Saturday to its work week, if need be, to make the time . . . ruling just a few days later, or surely before the end of last month.

Instead, they’re doing all they can to keep Trump above the law . . . without having to explicitly rule that he is above the law.  Get him elected, and this all goes away.  

Despicable.

Please help if you can.

Forty-two years ago, to a book about the insurance industry, I added an appendix titled:

Three Horribly Unfair Jokes You Can Tell About Lawyers (With Space to Append Three More of Your Own)

I explained that many of my best friends were lawyers, which certainly remains true today; told my three jokes; and left a blank page for readers to add three more.

In that spirit: