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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Here’s The Selfless Part

January 25, 2024January 24, 2024

Years ago, I urged you to buy Honest Tea because it was healthy, ethically sourced, tasted great, and I owned a teeny tiny piece.

You did; Coke bought it; and I made a teeny tiny killing.  (It took 12 years, but hey.)

That’s not the selfless part.

At the end of 2022, Coke discontinued it, surprising a lot of people.  Honest Tea’s founders seized the opportunity to launch the strikingly similar Just Ice Tea instead (justice tea, like honesty — get it?) . . . which I am again urging you to buy.

That’s not the selfless part, either.

(I own a teeny tiny piece.)

But consider:

You could buy a bottle of Just Ice Tea every day and love it.

It would set you back maybe $1,000 a year.

I’d be very grateful.

Not that you’d literally do that, in winter and in summer.  But for your whole household?  On average? Maybe your spouse likes it, too.  Maybe you live in Palm Beach.  Whatever: I’m just trying to paint a picture and keep the math simple.

Or . . . (and here’s the selfless part) . . .

You could buy just two bottles — and 7 boxes of Stash Licorice Spice tea bags.

You’d drink those two bottles, remove the labels, put two tea bags in each and fill with tap water.  (Cut off the tea bag strings first.  No need to cold brew those.)  Refrigerate.  Just keep brewing a new bottle each time you empty one so a spare is always ready.

No need to buy all 7 boxes of tea bags at once, of course.  Experiment with different brands and varieties, though I’m kind of crazy about the caffeine-free Stash Licorice Spice.  And experiment with THREE bags if you like your tea stronger (or just let the two sit longer).

But look what you’ve accomplished:

> You’ve spent $150 instead of $1,000, saving $850 tax-and-caffeine-free.

Invested at 6%-above-inflation, you’d have amassed an extra $72,000 in today’s dollars after 30 such years’ cold-brewing. 

But wait — there’s more!

> You‘ve saved the world’s having to make and label 365 glass bottles and metal bottle caps each year . . . saved the energy required to ship them to the bottler . . . saved having to pack the now-filled bottles in plastic-wrapped cardboard cases that someone else had to make and transport to the bottler . . . saved shipping those cases to the store . . . saved having to unpack the cases and stock the shelves . . . saved your having to carry them home.

All of which takes energy; much of it, from fossil fuel. 

But that’s not all!

> You’ve saved having to dispose of those 365 bottles (and 30 plastic-wrapped cardboard cases) someplace, somehow.  Times 20 million people, say = 7.5 billion bottles.

Each year.

And wait!

That’s right!

There’s still more!!!

> By not boiling water to brew the tea, you’ve saved that energy, too.


If I still wrote for PARADE, which claimed 80 million readers, which works out to just about every iced tea drinker in the world, I might not be so selfless.  But PARADE bit the dust just weeks after Honest Tea, as it happens.  And my current readership — while exceptional in quality — is itself teeny tiny.  So maybe I’m not being that selfless.  And you can still demand Just Ice Tea when you’re at a restaurant or health club, airport or movie theater.  If they don’t yet stock it, make a fuss.

With honesty and justice for all . . .



BONUS

Why Fani Willis, despite her great work, should step aside.



MORE-FUN BONUS

The Secret Life & Loves of Tab Hunter (48 minutes).  If you’re old enough to remember who he was.  Yes: life was really like that.  Young Love!  (Two minutes.)

 

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