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Andrew Tobias

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Getting Ready for 2000

August 18, 1998February 6, 2017

But first a joke. (Surely it’s high time for another joke.) This one came a long while back from Dr. Steven Rubin, so inspired was he by the Jewish parrot joke. But I didn’t want to push my luck, so I’ve been holding onto it for a while.

An elderly priest invited a young rabbi over for dinner. During the meal, the young rabbi couldn’t help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening, he began to wonder if there might be more between the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading the young rabbi’s thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional.”

About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said, “Father, ever since your young rabbi friend came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful sterling silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose he took it, do you?” The priest said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write him a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote:

“Dear Rabbi: I’m not saying that you DID take a sterling silver gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you DIDN’T take it. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here.”

Several days later, a letter came from the rabbi. It read: “Dear Father: I’m not saying that you DO sleep with your housekeeper, and I’m not saying that you DON’T sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now.”

Tomorrow: Getting Ready for 2000

 

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