Bruce Bouts, MD: “Re: Cooking Like a Guy™ — a warning. Some may be tempted to cook an egg in haste by nuking (microwaving) it. Never nuke an (uncracked) egg!!! They explode. Saw an uncomfortable bachelor while I was in Residency a few years back who had done just that. He received a faceful of second degree burns.”
The pain! The embarrassment! Talk about egg on your face. And in a similar vein . . .
Steve Gilbert: “You probably mentioned this (I somehow missed any prior discussion about heating beans in a can, but I can imagine you suggesting it), but it’s a good idea to open the can prior to heating. Minimizes explosions.”
Well, of course, any guy knows you can’t put cans, or any metal in a microwave. And as one who long ago tried boiling a can of Spaghettios, I can tell you that the problem is less explosive than manipulative. That is, how exactly do you grab the incredibly hot can out of the boiling water and open it? I mean, OK, with the right tongs and asbestos kitchen mitts, I suppose it can be done — but what self-respecting guy has tongs or a kitchen mitt? Few pairs of pliers are sufficiently wide-jawed for the job. Plus you’re right — you could have bean juice spewing all over the kitchen, or even an explosion. (There is a small school of thought that rejects the comet theory for that massive crater in Siberia — was it 1908? — and suspects exploding beans.)
Which is why I quickly learned to open the can first and allow it to bob in the boiling water, open end up. You just have to experiment to make sure it doesn’t tip over. Put two or three cans in at once, in a small pot, so it is geometrically impossible for any of them to tip over. Or do what I’ve come to do with age and increasing sophistication — just open the can and start eating. Who says beans have to be hot?
Tomorrow: Was Our 99.6% “Worst Case” Tax Bracket on an Inherited IRA Correct?
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They maintain themselves high above the fray, descending only to shoot the wounded.~S.J. Perelman, on the press
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