The Internet teems with deals. alerts you to many of them.

Like this one: “If you switch to Qwest fiber-optic long distance,” reports Dealcatcher, “they will send you a $100 check (a real check, not just credit).” You get 5.9-cent-per-minute long distance, anytime; no monthly fee; your name removed from all major telemarketing lists; and a $25 coupon for taking an online tour of the service.

“A hundred dollars buys a lot of 39-cent cheeseburgers,” concludes Alan Light, who kindly sent me this link.

That was a reference, of course, to yesterday’s column, about McDonald’s, which elicited a skillet of responses.

Someone named Harold wrote: “Hey, you missed out on the Senior drinks at Mickey Ds for 25 cents!”

Wow. A quarter for a sarsaparilla? This deal may not be available in your area, but it’s certainly worth admitting your age to find out.

Paul Langley: “Our dog Perry, a Border Collie, who just turned 13 and refuses to eat dog food as of last fall, well knows the McDonald’s cheap burger secret. Every Sunday he goes to the drive-in window and gets six cheeseburgers (they’re 49 cents here in Boston) and has two a day until he returns on Wednesday to get eight regular burgers (they’re 39 cents here) which last until Sunday when the cycle repeats. Sometimes he lets his dads buy extra so they can have some too. There is one flaw to your otherwise excellent plan and that is that at the McDonald’s we go to they limit the quantity to 10 per customer.”

Not when I bought my 20, they didn’t. But if there is such a rule, this may be its genesis:

Jesse Lunin-Pack: “Your story reminds me of my days running the kitchen at a sleepaway camp (my first brush with responsibility, age 21). The local McDonalds advertised 25-cent hamburgers, and I ordered 1000 of them. We cooked up some fries and fed the whole camp for less than it would have cost us to cook all the food ourselves, and the kids LOVED it. The next time they did it, the McDonalds added some fine print to their offer — limit of 10 per customer!”

Toby Gottfried: “39 cents? You forget the $10,000 for the coronary bypass operation.” (Splurge, several of you suggested, and eat non-meat Boca Burgers instead.)

Rick Mayhew: “Taco Bell has 39 cent tacos on Wednesday (soft) and Sunday (crunchy). My wife and I have a meal for $1.67 (tax included). We drink tap water. The funny thing is, we like it. If it were a hardship then they wouldn’t taste nearly as good!”

I just find that dog so annoying. Isn’t he in the Taco Bell ads?

R. J. Kirsch: “[In the spirit of] Cooking Like a Guy™, have you read Cooking Without A Kitchen: The Coffeemaker Cookbook, by Peter Mazonson?”

No, but it’s clearly my kind of book. Amazon says “Unique utilization of the appliance. Basket is used to steam food and carafe to heat items.” Fun, quick, healthy and little clean up. My kinda cuisine.

Are you all aware, incidentally, that you can poach a salmon in your dishwasher?

It’s true!

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