The New Yorker turned 75 this week, and all I could think to give it for its birthday was an idea for a cartoon. I assume the New Yorker has already done this idea at some point, but if not — and I could not find it in a cursory search of The Cartoon Bank — here it is:
Title: COWBOYS AND INDIANS
Drawing: A lot of cowboys milling around a saloon with a lot of guys in turbans
My friend Arthur points out that Indians, in the main, do not wear turbans, and that I should perhaps have men in dhotis and/or women in saris. This is fine with me. We need to allow the artist his space. (Or her space if it’s Roz Chast, but this is not the kind of cartoon Roz Chast usually does, and almost all the other cartoonists are men. Why is that?)
Arthur further points out that “bongs” are not, insofar as he knows, Indian. (Normally I check the dictionary first and only then, if still stumped, call Arthur. Arthur is one of those people blackballed from shows like “Do You Want To Be A Millionaire?” the way card counters are blackballed from the MGM Grand. But this time, having already called him about turbans, I asked about bongs. A quick check of the dictionary led me to hookahs, which are of Near Eastern origin. The Near East is close to India.)
There will be among you several who are either Native American or Indian — or, more likely, neither one, just well-meaning — who will parse the above in search of outrage and insult.
None intended! I just thought it was funny.
But to make amends, I hereby offer . . .
TRULY FREE LONG DISTANCE
For calls within the 48 contiguous states, just go to www.i-link.com and:
1. Click on TalkFree.
2. Click on Click Here to Give It a Try
3. Type in your phone number (once; then it remembers)
4. Click on Next
5. Type in the number you want to call
6. Click on Call
Almost instantly, your phone rings. Pick it up and listen as, a second or two later, your call goes through.
Clear as a Bell.
Keep the window minimized in a corner of your screen and you could actually make a lot of calls like this with little inconvenience, basically just repeating steps 5 and 6.
No more long distance phone charges! And your son or daughter away at college should certainly have no phone bills for you to pay, now that they know about this.
There is a hookah joke in here somewhere, but it’s late and I’m darned if I can find it. (These two hookahs . . . )
Thanks to loyal reader Cory Haney for pointing me to I-link.com.
Quote of the Day
RALPH: Before I let you go to work, I'd rather see you starve. We'll just have to live on our savings. ALICE: That'll carry us through the night, but what will we do in the morning?~The Honeymooners
Request email delivery
- Oct 22:
Al Franken, Giant of the Senate
- Oct 21:
It’s This Simple
- Oct 20:
Pizza To The Polls
- Oct 18:
The Future Of Science
- Oct 16:
Ryan’s Letter To His Dad
- Oct 14:
Powerful Whitehouse Words
- Oct 13:
For 208 Years They Have Avoided Politics
- Oct 11:
Not Deplorable At All
- Oct 9:
PRKR, Ted, TED, The Blitz, and Gay Republicans
- Oct 8:
- Oct 22: