Have you already seen this one? It purports to be a collection of actual warning labels (and other helpful packaging instructions) that have appeared on a variety of products:
On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box):
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
One reason for all this obsessive labeling is fear of lawsuits. That fear has led to safer products, for which we should all be grateful. But there’s a balance. Fear of lawsuits can have adverse consequences as well. Things cost more; and some worthwhile innovations may never even make it to market. Those interested in this balance, and in the point of view of those who believe we’ve actually gone too far, might want to check out http://www.overlawyered.com/.
(Then again, many of the wild verdicts one reads about are either drastically reduced at a later stage of the process, or involve more than at first meets the eye. That woman scalded by the coffee was just one of hundreds who had previously been injured without corrective steps having been taken — and it was a really, really bad burn. So no one should favor killing all the lawyers. It’s more a matter of fine-tuning.)