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Andrew Tobias

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Allocating Among Vanguard Funds

April 28, 2008March 10, 2017

WHEN IN DOUBT, RE-TELL A PARROT JOKE

Shlomo Halberstam: ‘Three Jewish sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said, ‘I built a big house for our mother.’ The second said, ‘I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.’ The third said, ‘I’ve got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Torah and you know she can’t see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.’ Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, ‘Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.’ She wrote to the second son, ‘Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude.’ She wrote to the third son, ‘Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious.’ ‘

☞ No reason not to re-tell this every seven years. Tradition . . .

ANOTHER FREE TOOL

Michael Monahan: ‘Re: 50 Awesome Open Source Financial Tools . . . add easyallocator.com to the list. It really is something.’

☞ Definitely worth a few minutes to play with.

This Week: The McCains Have a Vast Fortune (But He’s Right: The Economy Is Really Not His Strong Suit). Also: SPACS.

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