A Nurse, A Drunk, The Pope And A Surgeon Walk Into Shanghai’s Pulmonary Hospital April 19, 2026April 18, 2026 JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A NURSE . . . . . . doesn’t mean you’re a productive member of society, says this must-watch MAGA maiden (2 minutes). KASH PATEL One of my dormmates a million years ago was Efrem Zimbalist III. His dad — whose name you can likely deduce — starred in “The FBI“ throughout our college years. The FBI on TV was all about sobriety, integrity, and incorruptibility — as it was in real life until February 21 of last year, when this guy was sworn in. As profiled in The Atlantic, a sad, dangerous joke. CHINA Gloria: “Given yesterday’s China post, I thought you might want to know about a Spanish thoracic surgeon I follow on Instagram who spends six months of the year at the Shanghai Pulmonary Hospital, the largest of its kind in the world. The other six months he travels the world teaching and operating. He has developed a method by which he makes just a single small incision to remove tumors, etc. It’s called the UNIportal method and is revolutionary, because in ~48 hours the patient is home. Old-school thoracic surgery is very painful with a long recovery time. It is in China where he has helped develop the robots for these operations. Silicon Valley turned him down!!! Check this out. It’s in Spanish, but you’ll get the gist.” TRUMP FOR POPE! The Lincoln project imagines his campaign ad (90 seconds). TRUMP FOR SURGEON! Bob F. saw this (as we all did) . . . . . . and then prompted his A.I. as follows: President Trump recently posted an AI image of himself as Jesus, then claimed he thought it was supposed to be him as a doctor, caring for people. Please create an image of him as a doctor . . . and write a speech that Trump might give regarding the original depiction. After just a little tweaking, here’s the image Bob got . . . And here’s the speech . . . Thank you, thank you very much. Great to be here. Now before we begin, I have to say—because the fake news, they’re out there, they’re already twisting things—they said, “Oh, he wanted to be Jesus.” I said, “What are you talking about?” I never said that. Never even thought it. Fake news. Totally fake. I was a doctor all along. A healer. Helping people. That’s what this is about. But they don’t want to report that. They never do. And frankly—look, I’ll say it—Jesus never made a good deal, okay? I mean, think about it. If it were me, I would’ve negotiated eternal life for everybody—no dying, no sacrifice, no problem. Done. Easy. That’s a deal. And the Ten Commandments? I love them, very strong, very important—but ten? That’s a lot. I would’ve negotiated it down to six. Maybe seven. Believe me, there’s a few in there that we don’t need. People agree with me And then I look at this image—folks, it’s incredible. People are saying it’s one of the greatest paintings ever made. Maybe the greatest. I see it and I say, “Wow… that’s Dr. Trump.” Very official. Very strong. Right out of central casting. The best doctor—maybe better than all of them, honestly. And you know, I went to Penn—very good school, University of Pennsylvania. Great school. Top of the line. And they have one of the best medical schools anywhere. Some people say the best. And I was there, I understood it all, I really did. I could have been a doctor, easily. I chose a different path—turned out pretty well, I think—but I could have done it. No question. Look at this—white coat, stethoscope, everything. Looks natural, doesn’t it? Like I’ve been doing it for years. And the patient? Looks a little like Jon Stewart, doesn’t he? He’s doing unbelievably well. He was in rough shape—very rough—but now? Total turnaround. Doctors are calling me, they’re saying, “Sir, how did you do that?” I say, “It’s just talent. Natural talent.” And you’ve got everybody around—nurses, soldiers, great Americans—they’re watching, they’re amazed. They’re saying, “This guy knows what he’s doing.” And they’re right. I do. The lighting—have you noticed? Beautiful lighting. Very powerful. Some people say it looks almost… heavenly. I didn’t say that—but people are saying it. And I’ll tell you, it makes the whole thing look very special. And of course, the American flag—big, beautiful, waving. Eagles flying, jets overhead. It’s like we’re not just healing one person—we’re healing the whole country. We’re making America healthy again. That’s what we’re doing. But again, the fake news—they don’t want to talk about that. They say, “Oh, he’s not a real doctor.” Very nasty. I say, “Look at the results.” You can’t argue with results. The results are incredible. So I want to thank the artist—whoever made this, fantastic job. Truly incredible. We may have to hang it somewhere very important. Maybe in the new ballroom. We’ll see. Thank you very much, everybody. Stay healthy—because if not, Dr. Trump might have to come back. And believe me, you’ll be in very good hands. The best hands.