Have you gotten this spam?

Earn 42% Annually…GUARANTEED!

If the volatility of the stock market
makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you
should consider a safe haven where
strong annual returns are GUARANTEED..
And FULLY Secured!

For a FREE, In-Depth Information Package
regarding Accounts Receivable Acquisitions
simply reply with your name, state, and
telephone number. There is no cost or
obligation. Serious inquiries only please.

To be removed from this list please reply
with “Remove” in the subject line.

I know you know this, but it is, ipso facto, a fraud, designed to build a sales list of gullible people. And/or designed to get them to reply with “Remove” in the subject line, in order to build an e-mail list of people proven to open preposterous spam. (Sure I opened it – for me, it’s research.)

Forty-two percent you can get – but annually? Even Warren Buffett, world’s greatest investor, has had to settle for about 26%.

And guaranteed? Gimme a break!

Sure, our Great Atlantic & Pacific Preferred J is up 75% since January 3 – but it was hardly guaranteed. Like you, I had the guts to buy only a little, if I bought any at all. And like you, I might wind up losing everything if the company goes under. It’s right about the time I begin to gloat over 75% gains that terrible things happen. (To ‘fundamental analysis’ and ‘technical analysis’ add ‘superstitionary analysis’ – which I would personally rank considerably below the former, but about on a par with the latter. It is superstitionary analysis, for example, that leads some people to favor stocks like Calton, on which we’ve also done well, whose symbol – CN – is their life-partner’s initials. The ultimate in superstitionary analysis, as you know, is to become so certain of your instincts – so certain that they are almost unfailingly wrong – that you simply do the opposite of what you think makes sense. I do not recommend this, although Seinfeld fans will recall that it worked wonders for George. In the words of my friend Joe Cherner – which may first have been uttered by George Carlin or Steven Wright – ‘A Zen master once said to me ‘Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.’ So I didn’t.’)

Have a nice day.


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