Just when you had despaired that The Frieze would never again have their Coffee Toffee Crunch — not to say that the Lychee sorbet, almost always in stock, is anything short of life-changing, either, but it’s not Coffee Toffee Crunch — you return one last time, and there, at last . . . they still don’t have it (bet you didn’t see that cone coming) and so, largely drained of your will to live, you half-heartedly try a taste of the Banana Vanilla Wafer . . . nah . . . and then a taste of the Grapenuts ‘N’ Raisin (really?) . . . and — I did not see this coming — your life is changed forever. THIS IS THE BEST ICE CREAM EVER! Grapenuts ‘N’ Raisins. Proof that’s it’s darkest before the dawn.
That’s item number one, for South Floridians. (Unless they start offering franchises to expand beyond their sole Miami Beach location, in which case you should quit your job, move someplace sunny, buy a pair of flip-flops, and open one.)
Item number two is for New Yorkers:
COFFEE AND A GOAT
My friend Victor is friends with Anthony and Aurora who are yet to buy a goat, which I find odd, because they operate their Fair Folks Cafe under the corporate name Fair Folks & a Goat. I want to see the goat. Even a fake goat. Were he tied up outside the place with a dish of water under a sign like, PLEASE DON’T FEED THE GOAT — BUT TRY OUR ESPRESSO, I don’t see how folks could resist. Still, even goatless they seem to be doing fine, offering all the coffee you can drink with a $25/month membership. Here‘s how the place looks (thank you, New York Times) and here‘s what they’re saying over at Yelp, in case you’re a New Yorker who wants a satellite home-base in Greenwich Village.
Item number three is for anyone with an appreciation of the truly daft:
COFFEE AND A SMOKE
When it comes to smoking, Democrats are all about trying to discourage it (smoking is the country’s leading cause of preventable death), Republicans are all about helping the tobacco industry as best they can. Fair enough. Well, it now seems, according to investigative work performed by right-leaning groups, that “top Senate Democrats who have pushed policies that fund anti-tobacco measures have money invested in pharmaceutical companies that manufacture tobacco cessation products such as Nicorette.”
The concern is that this is a form of insider trading. If people people buy Nicorette gum as a result of Senate Democrats’ anti-smoking efforts, Senators with knowledge of this (whether they are pro- or anti-tobacco, but why quibble) will have information that could lead them (or anyone else, but, again, why quibble) to profit.
Over the past four years as he repeatedly pressed for federal funding to stop smoking, [Iowa Democratic Senator Tom] Harkin has owned between $50,001 and $100,000 in stock in health products maker Johnson & Johnson, which makes the popular anti-smoking product Nicorette. . . . He’s hardly alone. A half-dozen senators who have been among the most vocal advocates for federal funding for smoking cessation — including Majority Leader Harry Reid, Nevada Democrat, and Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin of Illinois — have direct or indirect investments in companies that make anti-tobacco products.
Shocking, no? J&J makes a profit of about $10 billion a year from the sale of these 100 brands. If whatever the Senate does somehow doubles its profit from Nicorette, J&J’s earnings might rise by 1%. That could send J&J shares themselves up 1%. Which could augment Tom Harken’s net worth, if he has $75,000 worth of J&J stock, by $750. According to this, the Senator’s net worth in 2010 was $16 million, thus probably more like $20 million today, so that $750 would hike it by 0.00375 percent. Which is nearly four-thousandths of a percent.
Our friends on the right are not concerned by climate change. But this? This is headline-worthy.
I know. I owe you responses from last week.
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