The Market, the Meanness, and the Magic October 20, 2006January 9, 2017 EXPLORER 7.0 Hey – so I downloaded and installed it – easy, even for me – and it’s better and worth doing. (But don’t blame me if something awful happens.) THE MARKET The Dow broke 12,000 and (as noted in more detail a few days ago) – it is now just 15% shy of its level six years ago, adjusted for inflation. (The S&P is down about 25% from where it was, adjusted for inflation; the NASDAQ is down about 65% against the Canadian dollar or the Euro.) If you own stocks, it’s certainly good news the market has climbed. A little less good is the nightly newscasters’ suggestion that – now that it’s risen – the market may be a little safer. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel safer owning stocks when they’re cheap. Then again, if you don’t own stocks, but were thinking of buying, it’s nice to know that you’re not really buying at all-time highs after all. I don’t know where the market will go from here, obviously, but I’m cheered to think that – expecting Democratic gains on November 7 – the market apparently is buoyed. (Or is it your view that the market would be doing much better still if it could be assured of two more years on the current course?) THE CORRUPTION Facing Fed Probe, House GOP Spending Chief Axes Investigative Staff – 60 investigators, fired. Amazing. THE MEANNESS For the first time in history, the surviving spouse of a member of Congress is being denied death benefits. The 12-term Congressman paid into the pension fund for 24 years like all his colleagues, but equal treatment under the law has its limits. Click here. GINGRICH V. PELOSI From Glenn Greenwald’s blog Tuesday: Newt Gingrich argued yesterday that Republicans should remind the electorate that “Republicans are right to favor traditional American conservative social values, and the left is completely wrong to put San Francisco left-wing values third in line to be President by electing Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) to speaker of the House.” Nancy Pelosi’s “San Francisco left-wing values”: “Upon graduation in 1962, she married Georgetown University graduate Paul Pelosi.” “Pelosi and her husband, Paul Pelosi, a native of San Francisco, have five children: Nancy Corinne, Christine, Jacqueline, Paul and Alexandra, and five grandchildren.” Newt Gingrich’s “traditional American conservative social values”: In 1981, Newt dumped his first wife, Jackie Battley, for Marianne, wife number 2, while Jackie was in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. Marianne and Newt divorced in December, 1999 after Marianne found out about Newt’s long-running affair with Callista Bisek, his one-time congressional aide. Gingrich asked Marianne for the divorce by phoning her on Mother’s Day, 1999. [Source: New York Post, July 18, 2000, Newt’s Ex Wife Aiming to Pen Book by Bill Sanderson, available on lexis. Newt (57) and Callista (34) were married in a private ceremony in a hotel courtyard in Alexandria, Va. in August, 2000. . . . “He famously visited Jackie in the hospital where she was recovering from surgery for uterine cancer to discuss details of the divorce. He later resisted paying alimony and child support for his two daughters, causing a church to take up a collection. For all of his talk of religious faith and the importance of God, Gingrich left his congregation over the pastor’s criticism of his divorce.” The consistency in reasoning is at least impressive. Those who evaded military service during wars they cheered on are brave, courageous, resolute warriors. Those who fought for their country in combat are cowards and appeasers. Those who repeatedly dump their wives for new and better versions, and run around engaging in the sleaziest and most unrestrained sexual behavior, are stalwart defenders of traditional American and Christian values. Those who stay married to their original spouse for their entire lives and raise a family together are godless, radical heathens who represent “San Francisco values” and seek to undermine the country’s moral fiber and Christian traditions. THE MAGIC John Kasley: ‘The black guy is in the microwave behind a paper wall – look at the depth of the box as the white guy climbs in. When the black guy comes out, the microwave screen never clears of mist. When the black guy climbs in and the white guy jumps out, the walls fall outward hiding the space in which the black guy is hiding lying on his side.’ ☞ But as one of you explained, the part at the end, where the black guy disappears? That’s MAGIC. Have a great weekend.