The Fat Lady Has Grasped the Armrests of Her Chair October 21, 2004February 27, 2017 YOUR MONEY John Bakke: ‘Regarding your mention of the stock market doing better under Democrats, I have occasionally used this link with right-leaning friends to make that point. So far none of them have claimed Forbes is a lefty rag with liberal bias.’ ☞ Forbes says, in part: ‘Over the years, several studies have shown that the stock market has fared markedly better under Democrats than Republicans.’ THE POLLS As of 4am, electoral-vote.com had Kerry up 291 to 247, with Iowa having come our way – and New Mexico. (Ohio hasn’t but now looks as if it will.) Of course, we still have 12 days, which is an eternity in politics; and the polls are certainly suspect (suddenly New Mexico, which had had Bush ahead by 1%, has Kerry ahead by 10%). So I remind you, as usual, not to freak out if the map swings the other way temporarily. But the fat lady has grasped the armrests of her chair. At the end of the day, this should work out. The country has decided we are on the wrong track. Time for a fresh start under new management. Indeed, virtually the entire world longs to see this . . . but not everyone here cares what the world thinks. WHAT WE THINK ABOUT WHAT THE WORLD THINKS (Some of us, anyway.) Last week, a British newspaper, The Guardian, urged its readers to write letters to U.S. citizens regarding the importance of the US election. ‘Not surprisingly,’ reports my ex-pat friend David Durst from London, ‘there has been a response from the U.S. WHO boy, has there been a response!’ Here are some e-mails The Guardian printed: Have you not noticed that Americans don’t give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies … I don’t give a rat’s ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don’t. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah – and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals. Wading River, NY Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals – Republican to a man – to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys. United States Real Americans aren’t interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it. Texas, USA In fairness, I do think any such letters to Ohio voters – whether from Liverpool or Los Angeles – need to be VERY humble and respectful, both because they should be and because, if they’re not, they surely will backfire. My dear, beloved Brits, I understand the Guardian is sponsoring a service where British citizens write to Americans to advise them on how to vote. Thank heavens! I was adrift in a sea of confusion and you are my beacon of hope! Feel free to respond to this email with your advice. Please keep in mind that I am something of an anglophile, so this is not confrontational. Please remember, too, that I am merely an American. That means I am not very bright. It means I have no culture or sense of history. It also means that I am barely literate, so please don’t use big, fancy words. Set me straight, folks! Dayton, Ohio THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE SPENT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS PROTECTING THE PEOPLES OF THE EU, AND WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN. BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL. I HAVE BEEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY OF MY ANCESTORS, AND I KNOW WHY THEY LEFT. MAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TOOTH CAPPED. I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES AT LEAST 18 MONTHS FOR YOUR GREAT MEDICAL SERVICES TO GET AROUND TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY. Harlan, Kentucky Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. F— off and die a—–e!!!!! Knoxville, Iowa I used to visit the UK every year. I love the history and culture of your country. But after I heard about your campaign to influence our elections, I’ve decided that neither myself, nor my family will ever visit again. I’m offended by your campaign and because of it, I’m remembering more of the negative aspects I’ve seen in the UK than the positive ones. Detroit As a US citizen, I want to advise you that you and anyone that participates in subverting the US presidential election can be criminally charged and perhaps even charged as spies. California That last point is in dispute. Clearly, attempts were made in 2000 to subvert the election in Florida (I refer you to yesterday’s video) and are being made again (I refer you to Tuesday night’s ABC Nightline). So far, no criminal charges.