Short Takes July 19, 2000February 15, 2017 ANY BOY “The Boy Scouts of America’s leaders fought for the right to discriminate and won it. Now the question is, will the rest of us take action to dissociate from discrimination until BSA stops discriminating — as we would if we learned of an analogous admitted exclusion of African-American kids or others?” — Evan Wolfson, who argued the case before the Supreme Court JEWISH JOKES “That’s two Jewish jokes in the past weeks. Would similar humor about Blacks or Gays be as welcome? Not being either, I don’t know, but (being Jewish) I get a bit uneasy when I hear or read ‘Jewish jokes’ related by non-Jews. (Of course, if you’re Jewish, ‘Never mind.’)” ☞ Never mind. THE ESTATE TAX “You wrote: ‘I think the estate tax is good social policy’ [just horribly unwieldy]. What’s good about stealing from the dead?” — Brian Annis ☞ That it lessens the need to steal from the living? THE TANNERS “What other reasons are there for Allan Tanner day? I am just asking because if the Harry Potter refund was the only thing, then you would have been better apt to name it ‘Allan Tanner’s Daughter’s Day,’ which I admit is a little long. But anyhow as it is his day don’t leave his accomplishments shortsighted as to one that he didn’t accomplish. And there are many others.” — Naomi Tanner (Allan’s one and only daughter) ☞ Hmm. That could be read a number of ways. Should make for interesting Tanner table conversations. Maybe we should set up a 24-hour Tanner-Cam. MUGGLE ” << Muggle >> Are you just making up your own words now? I can’t find this word in the dictionary.” ☞ Because, dear reader, you are using a muggle dictionary. Check your Thesaurcerus. AMAZON “I am glad that correspondent Allan Tanner enjoyed a positive experience with Amazon.com regarding delivery of the Harry Potter book. I did not. My 9-year-old daughter was one of the first 250,000 orders, and ordered specifically because of the Saturday delivery promise. However, Saturday came and went without the book. We called FedEx that afternoon for a delivery status report and was told that our section of rural North Carolina does not have Saturday FedEx delivery. “Whoops. Well, you can’t blame Amazon for that. But we certainly expected the book Monday; instead, it showed up Wednesday, via regular US Priority Mail, long after my daughter left for Chapel Hill for basketball camp, and we had shelled out another $25 for a replacement copy to send with her. Did Amazon promise FedEx delivery for the first 250,000 orders, or did they not? According to Amazon, they did not. In an e-mail response to my complaint, they offered ‘apologies for any misunderstanding regarding this order. We offered the special upgrade to Saturday delivery for the first 250,000 qualifying orders, but orders which did not qualify . . . were shipped with the (normal) shipping method.’ “Unlike the Tanners, Amazon has not offered to recompense us. And that’s OK, I understand FedEx Saturday delivery zones are out of their control, but I am upset that Amazon did not communicate that all areas of the country would not be able to avail themselves of this offer. Amazon has lost a valued customer (us) for life over this. I guess the lesson is, the best-intentioned attempts at customer service can backfire, huh?” — Mike Hawkins AMAZON, TOO “I was one of the 250K who bought Harry Potter from Amazon and got my book on Saturday. And I appreciate the goodwill that Amazon is generating, I really do like those folks. BUT my girlfriend had her copies by 10 AM Saturday — and for a few bucks less than I paid — by going to Costco. I waited till noon, then 1:30 and having tracked my shipment knew that it was put on a FED EX delivery truck at 9:19am I finally called at 2:30. Yes, said the man, Saturday shipments should be there by noon… Oh wait a minute yours is coming from Amazon, it must be the Harry Potter book. Yes said I. Well, said he, we made a special deal with them — our commitment was to have them all delivered by 8pm. Mine finally came at 4:30. As much as I like trying new shopping methods — I don’t think I would have done it had I known when I was ordering.” — John Seiffer COOKING LIKE A GUY? “Yo! Let’s cut to the chase. All guys have blenders. Mix: 1 part ice, 2 parts ice cream (vanilla), 1 part rum (light). This will render your best milkshake ever.” — Wayne Arczynski ☞ Yo, Wayne!