Identical Situations January 13, 2023January 12, 2023 A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank to donate and the nurse asks each their blood type. “I’m pretty sure I’m a Type O”, says the rabbit. → Get it? (Thanks, Brook.) Two big shots walk into Nieman Marcus — separately — and each tries on lots of expensive stuff. The first buys nothing and leaves the store only to realize when he gets to his car that he’s still wearing the $1,200 blue cashmere sweater he tried on! He runs back to the store — which somehow failed to realize it was missing — and returns the sweater, apologizing for his senior moment. The second guys also buys nothing. He leaves the store wearing the red version of that same $1,200 sweater, a $400 scarf, and this $4,990 top coat. He gets home and puts his new clothes away. Himself. Somehow, he fits the top coat into his office desk drawer. A week later, reviewing its inventory “shrinkage” and security tapes, the store calls and asks for the clothes back. He sends his chauffeur with the scarf but says that’s all he took. The store makes more polite requests. Finally, after months of his stalling, they call the cops, who get a warrant to search his home, retrieving the sweater and the top coat. Apart from the color of the two sweaters, any fair-minded person can see that the two situations are identical. Simple fairness demands each man be investigated and punished in the same way. Or, put another way: Have a great long weekend. (Fourth quarterly estimated tax due Tuesday.)