I Scream, You Scream . . . July 28, 2017July 27, 2017 . . . but before we do, here is the most amazing card magic ever — four minutes developed after the 2015 Paris terrorist attack. More than two million people have watched; I can’t imagine what the 287 who gave it a thumbs down were thinking? (Thanks, Bill!) And now, in honor of mid-summer (thanks, Tom!) . . . the chemical rundown on ice cream — and sorbet and gelato. Now you know. Bonus item: WHY THE RUSSIANS HAD NO EFFECT ON OUR ELECTION. I just figured this out. Yes, an army of Russian operatives and “bots” were deployed for months to spread false information about Hillary Clinton designed to make people dislike and distrust her. And yes, this once most-admired woman won reelection to the Senate by more than a two-to-one margin and had a 65% favorability during her years as Secretary of State. (Henry Kissinger: “[She] ran the State Department in the most effective way that I’ve ever seen.” John McCain: “Secretary Clinton is admired and respected around the world . . . a very effective Secretary of State.” Condoleezza Rice: “She’s a patriot. […] I think she’s doing a fine job. I really do.” Lindsey Graham: “She is one of the most effective secretaries of state, greatest ambassadors for the American people that I have known in my lifetime.” Paul Ryan: “[If she had become president in 2009], we’d have fixed the fiscal mess by now.”) But to think that the former KGB army that set out to destroy her would have had any impact is to believe Americans can’t tell fake stories from real ones. Clearly, that’s not true. When he gets an email or sees a Facebook post, even the most gullible of Americans can tell which are real and which designed by experts merely to seem real, while reinforcing a false narrative. By way of examples: Despite all the intentional disinformation, virtually no American was duped into doubting Obama’s citizenship (other than 41% of Republicans polled two years into his presidency). Given the all-but-unanimous alarm by the scientific community, almost no American could be made to doubt that climate change is real (other than 43% of Republicans). Because it was simply not true, almost no American who voted to reelect George W. Bush believed Iraq attacked us on 9/11 (other than the majority who did). So why would we think that anyone — let alone a full quarter of one percent of the voters in Michigan — could have been influenced by fake news stories about Hillary? Or by fake Facebook posts? Or by thousands of Russian intelligence officers working for months to give Putin and Trump a win? Put Putin across the chessboard from even the least savvy of our voters and he wouldn’t stand a chance. Have a great weekend.