Dick Cheney Has Better Health Insurance than You

DON’T SNEEZE WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL

It can never end well. There is the obvious reason (well, think it through). But there is also the problem of the intake, precedent to the violent exhalation. Rather like the curious way Neptune sucks the tide back from the shore (what hazard could that pose?) precedent to the violent onrush of the tsunami.

Indeed, even a yawn, which is almost all intake and relatively mild outrush, poses very much the same risk.

Say, for example, you have half an aspirin on your tongue, about to swallow, and suddenly there is the intake of a sneeze or a yawn. Do you know how dangerous it is to inhale an aspirin? Worse than inhaling even a mosquito, let me tell you; and to prevent the inhalation of mosquitoes, whether yawning or sneezing, we are trained to raise our hands to our mouths. (Forget etiquette or germs; we do this to keep the bugs out.)

But what good will the polite hand-to-mouth maneuver do when the object – in this case the half aspirin – has already breached security and is inside the city walls? (Indeed, you placed it there yourself, as the Trojans did their horse.)

Answer? None whatsoever.

One minute you are king of the world. The next you are coughing violently, unable to ask your doctor what to do (surely not take two aspirin and call him in the morning) because you are unable to speak.

Sometimes you don’t die from this, I am pleased to be able to report. But it makes an impression on you nonetheless.

McCAIN’S WEALTH

Mike: ‘So what if McCain has some money. So do Warren Buffett, George Soros, Teddy Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry – what, is it only OK if liberal Dems have a few bucks? What’s with the obsession with class warfare with you Dems?’

☞ Well, we should start by remembering Buffett’s remark that ‘if this is class warfare, my class is winning.’ But I think the point is that the R’s want to paint Obama as ‘elitist’ and unable to truly relate to the average American, whereas John McCain is just like them, and knows the price of a quart of milk (as it were).

It’s fine to have a ton of dough (especially if you earned it); less fine, in the view of some of us, if, having a ton of dough, you pledge to keep taxes on rich people low and eliminate the estate tax.

It’s also fine to windsurf – but did you see how they destroyed Kerry over that? So, nine houses and a private jet MAY be the mark of a man who really ‘gets’ the plight of the middle class and the disadvantaged . . . who wants to live lightly on the land and promote sustainability. But maybe not?

RICHARD NIXON AND DICK CHENEY ON HEALTH CARE

Be sure to go to the bottom to click the 16-minute video clip. (Thanks, James.)