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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Colbert On Trump

September 21, 2016

So yesterday we watched Seth Myers on Trump. One of you suggested Colbert’s take is even better.  (Thanks Matt!)  This is above my pay grade.  You decide.


Either way, Hillary started the birther movement, Trump ended it, the moon is a matzo ball, Trump knows more about ISIS than the generals, America is a disaster.  Gas is five bucks, we’re losing 800,000 jobs a month, the stock market is crashing, home foreclosures are a catastrophe, Detroit is bankrupt, our infrastructure’s crumbling — and only Trump can fix it.

Oh, wait.  Gas is $2.25 a gallon, we’ve had 78 consecutive months of net private sector job growth,* the stock market’s nearly tripled, home prices are robust, Detroit’s booming . . . and yes, our infrastructure is still crumbling.

But only because Republicans blocked the American Jobs Act.

And our economy — and, especially, wage growth — are weaker than they need to be.

But only because they also blocked a higher minimum wage and comprehensive immigration reform.  (Trump opposes both.)

Which is why we need to elect Hillary and a Democratic Congress to put millions of Americans to work revitalizing our infrastructure; to raise the minimum wage; to enact the immigration reform passed 68-32 in the Senate but blocked in the House; to allow federal student loans to be refinanced at today’s low rates — and to do so many other practical, realistic things that will move America forward — rather than take a crazy leap into the unknown with a sociopath.

Trump will “absolutely” release his tax returns — except he won’t.  (My guess: you pay more tax.)

He’s generous — though he hasn’t given to his own foundation since 2008 but has used others’ contributions to buy expensive portraits of himself and to settle business disputes.  (You will recall that over the last 30 years he has become party to a new legal action on average every three days.)

George H. W. Bush is voting for his opponent, Colin Powell calls him a “national disgrace,” he kept a book of Hitler’s speeches by his bedside.

I mean, what’s not to like about this guy?

He “stirs hatred and feeds self-vindication, and whether on paper it bears inspection for consistency, logic or soundness is immaterial.”

He’s “a past master at throwing up verbal smoke screens . . . knows the effectiveness of massive oratorical assaults . . . knows how to give pledges that will be broken . . . his crudity frequently borders on downright vulgarity.”

(Those quotes are not about Trump; they’re from the foreword and introduction to the 1941 book of speeches he kept by his bedside.)

But I digress.

Watch Seth Myers and Stephen Colbert.  They make the anxiety of these final 48 days a little easier to bear.

Click here to vote, here to volunteer, here to contribute — and here to see what Republicans are saying about Trump and Clinton.

*The record: 23 million net new jobs under the last Clinton presidency; 15 million in the last 78 months under Obama — so north of 35 million under the two of them, versus fewer than one million under the last two Republican presidents, Bush and Bush, combined.

 

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