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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Borealis Sends a Demon Boy to Warn Me

February 13, 2007January 9, 2017

JET FLU

No rational person could be anything but grateful for a $119 aisle seat with extra ice for his Diet Coke and a bag of those great ‘blue chips.’

Not to mention the inflight TV I never watch. (When they add Tivo, I’ll watch.)

But oh, do I blame the 11-year-old demon child seated across the aisle from me in 21C – loosely surrounded by five inter-generational family members who had been scattered around the back section of the packed plane, and who seemed oblivious to the presence of anyone else in between.

Seat 21A conversed continually for three hours with 22F, an aisle back and across and the full width of the plane, about the cell phone one of them may have left in the rental car they dropped off at LaGuardia. Muhammed, at National Rent-a-Car, was working on it and was to call the father back at 917-302-‘5555’ – oh, how I ache to give you the real number – if the phone were found.

Every ten minutes, the demon child would let out a cough that reverberated so deeply the little horns peeking through his red hair seemed to strain to protrude a little further and the airplane itself vibrated in harmonic sympathy.

I was chewing Airborne Gummis for three hours straight – so desperate, I even ate the green ones – but it was just not enough.

And here I already used my sick day yesterday, when I wasn’t sick.

DON’T SELL YOUR BOREALIS

The proximate cause of my fever is, without question, the demon child. I know: I was there. But who sent the demon child?

I have long assumed that if our Borealis ship ever really did come in, something terrible would happen to keep the universe in balance. Specifically, a thunderbolt. Is it possible that, with some reports of a ship on the horizon yesterday, the demon child was sent as a warning? A foretaste?

Here was the news release, the gist of which, as best I understand it, is that Borealis may have found a competent partner to move its mining project forward. And here is the column from August 2, 2005, where I argued that Borealis shares could be a good speculation up to $100 a share, albeit only for money you can truly afford to lose, because you well may.

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