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Andrew Tobias

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Andrew Tobias
Andrew Tobias

Money and Other Subjects

Year: 2002

Grapefruit

August 14, 2002February 21, 2017

I know room service has specific menus, but from time to time I remember that at many finer hotels you can ask for more or less anything.

‘Would you happen to have a grapefruit in the refrigerator?’ I asked.

It was past midnight, and I figured I’d be good for a change. How wrong can you go with a whole grapefruit as a late night snack?

‘You want a whole grapefruit? Anything else?’

‘Just a knife. A whole grapefruit and a knife to cut it with.’

I am staying at a 4-star Beverly Hills hotel, with an amazing down comforter on the bed, a two-line line with modem, tasteful art on the walls, balcony with a view ($84 plus tax and the $5.95 Priceline fee) – so in less than half an hour there was a knock at my door.

A whole grapefruit. A knife. A salt shaker (huh?). And a bill for $17.54.

I plan to ask about this when I check out in the morning.

‘How can you afford to rent me a beautiful room like that for less than the cost of five grapefruits?’ I will ask.

DICK DAVIS #29 – NOW HE TELLS US

Item 29: Know The Downside

Stock recommendations should include all the bad stuff that can happen, as well as the good. Only then will there be no surprises. But a complete list of the major negatives is rarely included in a recommendation. The only place you can get full disclosure of all the risks is in the prospectus that accompanies a new offering – and then only because it’s required by the S.E.C., and no one reads prospectuses. Think about it. If you’re buying a stock, someone is selling it to you. Why? It’s only by your knowing all the possible reasons for the sale that you can make a truly informed decision. Always seek out the downside; it may take some doing.

Talk Among Yourselves

August 13, 2002March 25, 2012

Sorry . . . back soon.

The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow. Or One of These Days.

August 12, 2002February 21, 2017

John Mandeville: ‘I think you’re right about dips on the market per Friday’s column. I have had in the back of my mind, ‘when the market goes up, I’m selling and getting out of this rat race for a while.’ Well, as it turns out, everyone around the coffee break table is thinking the same thing. I can just see a continuation of this whip saw action for months and perhaps years to come. What are your ideas for getting the trust of the investor back into the market? Throw the bums in jail? What else?’

☞ Throwing the bums in jail may help restore some confidence, but the real base that’s needed is a compelling value proposition, where logic and greed overcome fear. Can you believe that great dividend yield? Or at least, Can you believe that low p/e ratio? Hey – I can’t sit it out any longer. If the world doesn’t end, buying shares at these prices has to work out over the long run. (And if the world does end, what difference will it make?)

Stocks may have to go a good deal lower for people to feel that way, or earnings next year (or some year) may have to be a lot higher. But the day may come.

Then again, it may not. There is a great deal of money sitting on the sidelines; and every week, more 401(k) money needs to be invested. So maybe stocks won’t have to get lower than they did a couple of weeks ago. I truly don’t know – obviously – which is why people like me shouldn’t try to time the market.

It’s only at the extremes – either nutty high or nutty low – that I feel confident of the intermediate direction of the market, even if it winds up getting even nuttier first, before it heads back toward sanity. (I say intermediate term because NO ONE can guess the short-term market moves with any degree of success, and the truly long-term direction is always easy to guess – up. Barring the end of the world, of course. But if the world does end, the Dow will be the least of our worries.)

If you’re in it for the long haul, I don’t want to encourage you to sell, even though I believe the market could have quite a bit further to fall. Prices have come back to earth sufficiently that they are no longer totally nutty. Here and there, and as tax-selling season kicks into gear, you may even find a bargain.

ALL WILL GO WRONG

I don’t know Derbyshire’s work well enough to know how deeply his tongue is stuck in cheek. If you read him literally, both here and in one or two other things I’ve read, it’s pretty appalling. One has the sense, though, he enjoys being grumpy and outrageous and politically incorrect. In any event, here’s what one conservative (i.e., Derbyshire) believes. We progressive Democrats recognize the same challenges he does but have a more hopeful vision of meeting them. Deep down, I think Derbyshire is rooting for us to succeed – and recognizes that we might. The sun will come up tomorrow, and it will not be totally obscured by pollution.

Psycho-Shift

August 9, 2002February 21, 2017

Here’s the problem with the stock market. Before . . . remember before? . . . whenever it would fall from seemingly high heights, it would shortly bounce back to even higher heights. People learned that dips were buying opportunities, and that became somewhat self-fulfilling. They’d ignore underlying value and just buy, knowing that the market always snapped back and went higher.

Well, now what may happen for some months or years longer (I hope not) is that whenever the market rises from seemingly low levels, as it has the last few days, it may shortly fall back and perhaps dip to even lower lows. People may come to believe that these spikes are selling opportunities – and that, too, could become somewhat self-fulfilling. They may ignore value and just sell, knowing that these rallies never last.

At some point, of course, they will be wrong. At some point – maybe this even is that point – the rallies will be wider and more sustained than the dips. That is when we will know (looking back on the chart, with hindsight) the bear became a bull.

#

Thomas Friedman filed another of his compelling New York Times columns the other day, this one from Sri Lanka. But it wasn’t about Sri Lanka, it was about an ailing 63-year-old Egyptian named Saad Eddin Ibrahim, sentenced to seven years’ hard labor for promoting democracy. And it wasn’t about that, either. It was about America’s response – yours and mine – and how such responses are being perceived around the world and what they mean. Click here.

MYM 12 DIE-HARDS

Martin Fleisher reports that MYM 12, the venerable DOS money-management software package some of us still use (along with our rotary phones and slide rules), works under Microsoft XP. The one problem he encountered – and I have heard this from others – is that it opened in a too-small window. But he quickly discovered that XP ‘defaults to opening DOS programs in a window. You just have to alt-enter out of it.’

Roses . . .

August 8, 2002February 21, 2017

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Yesterday’s column
Will just have to do.

Back tomorrow . . .

Another Rate Cut?

August 7, 2002March 25, 2012

There was talk yesterday the Fed might take rates down yet again later this year. There are two pieces to any Fed move. One is economic, the other psychological.

Economically, even-lower short-term interest rates might help the economy and help the stock market. All those who borrow at ‘one over prime,’ say, would save some a little money as ‘prime’ – currently 4.75% – fell another quarter or half a point. They might spend that extra money on something.

Lower short-term rates would also make stocks relatively more attractive. Even if one hoped for just 5% from a combination of dividends and appreciation – well, 5% looks ever more attractive as your broker pays you, say, 1% on cash balances.

But what would a rate cut say psychologically? That the Fed is worried about the economy? That we are running out of room to cut rates? (The Fed’s ‘Discount Rate,’ at which it lends to banks, is now 1.25%, down from 3.25% a year ago. The ‘Fed Funds’ rate, at which banks lend to each other, is 1.75%, down from 3.75% a year ago.) That it is hard to push on a string? That we are headed toward the Japanese experience, where the government rate fell essentially to zero?

I don’t think we are headed for these kinds of disasters. But it shows you the kind of delicate dance the Fed must do.

(A lot of the problem stems from not having found a way to keep the stock market bubble from ballooning to the size it did. If the NASDAQ was irrationally exuberant at 1250, as Alan Greenspan seemed to think in December, 1996, what was it at 5200 three-and-some years later? I think the Fed made a mistake in not raising the 50% margin requirement – a little-used but venerable Fed lever. Nothing drastic, but a small hike from 50% to 52%, say, or 54%, to send a message . . . and then gradually higher, if needed. It would have been a way of damping down some of Wall Street’s speculative excess without unnecessarily damping down Main Street’s healthy economy.)

There are times when a rate cut is eagerly to be hoped for, an almost sure economic confidence-booster; a shot in the market’s arm. This may or may not be one of them.

Actually, what might be even more welcome is a time the Fed feels the need to tighten a notch. That will be a signal that the Fed, at least, has turned bullish on the economy.

Summer Rerun

August 6, 2002December 29, 2016

I’m sorry, but I think I’ll just run this column every few months until we freeze the tax cut for the top 1% or 2%.

Hotels and Hoffer — in Haifa?

August 5, 2002February 21, 2017

HOTELS

I’ve mentioned the advantages of Priceline.com when you’re booking a hotel room and you’re sure you won’t have to change your plans. And the advantages of Expedia.com when you might have to change your plans.

I look to see what Expedia can offer, then try to do 40% better at Priceline. If I fail, I just go back to Expedia and book there, which still saves a lot of money.

But I guess along with Expedia we should add Hotels.com. Although controlled by the same owner as Expedia – which can’t bode too well for price competition – Hotels.com has such clout, according to the latest issue of Worth Magazine, that it can sometimes get you rooms that the hotel itself can’t sell you – and at a significant discount.

Like so much of the Internet: great for consumers, not so great for investors.

HOFFER

David Brudnoy: ‘You know of course who Eric Hoffer was. [Just click if you don’t.] This is prescient – look at the date it was published.’

ISRAEL’S PECULIAR POSITION
By Eric Hoffer (LA Times May 26, 1968)

The Jews are a peculiar people: things permitted to other nations are forbidden to the Jews.

Other nations drive out thousands, even millions of people and there is no refugee problem. Russian did it, Poland and Czechoslovakia did it, Turkey threw out a million Greeks, and Algeria a million Frenchman. Indonesia threw out heaven knows how many Chinese – and no one says a word about refugees. But in the case of Israel the displaced Arabs have become eternal refugees.

Everyone insists that Israel must take back every single Arab. Arnold Toynbee calls the displacement of the Arabs an atrocity greater than any committed by the Nazis.

Other nations when victorious on the battlefield dictate peace terms. But when Israel is victorious it must sue for peace. Everyone expects the Jews to be the only real Christians in this world.

Other nations when they are defeated survive and recover but should Israel be defeated it would be destroyed. Had Nasser triumphed last June he would have wiped Israel off the map, and no one would have lifted a finger to save the Jews.

No commitment to the Jews by any government, including our own, is worth the paper it is written on. There is a cry of outrage all over the world when people die in Vietnam or when two Negroes are executed in Rhodesia. But when Hitler slaughtered Jews no one remonstrated with him.

The Swedes, who are ready to break off diplomatic relations with America because of what we do in Vietnam, did not let out a peep when Hitler was slaughtering Jews. They sent Hitler choice iron ore, and ball bearings, and serviced his troop trains to Norway.

The Jews are alone in the world. If Israel survives, it will be solely because of Jewish efforts. And Jewish resources [2002 note: America has surely helped with resources! – A.T.]. Yet at this moment Israel is our only reliable and unconditional ally. We can rely more on Israel than Israel can rely on us. And one has only to imagine what would have happened last summer had the Arabs and their Russian backers won the war to realize how vital the survival of Israel is to America and the West in general.

I have a premonition that will not leave me; as it goes with Israel so will it go with all of us. Should Israel perish the holocaust will be upon us.

☞ Too pessimistic. Peace will succeed because peace has to succeed. But . . . oy!

Stupid AND Evil?

August 2, 2002January 25, 2017

FINALLY COMING TO TERMS WITH OUR NATIONAL DEBT

I’m surprised this hasn’t gotten more news coverage. (Thanks, Paul Lerman, for bringing it to my attention.)

“My fellow Americans, we have just taken the first step toward regaining control of our finances,” said President Bush at a press conference. “Thanks to a joint arrangement between the Treasury Department, the Federal Reserve, and E-Z Debt Services of Baltimore, we are finally on our way to freedom from debt.”

Click here for the full story. (‘WASHINGTON, DC-Plagued by late fees, high interest rates, and harassing creditors, the U.S. took out a debt-consolidation loan Monday, combining the nation’s $6.1 trillion debt into a single, easy monthly payment . . .’)

That debt, by the way, comes to almost exactly $1,000 for every man, woman, and starving child on the planet. (A somewhat meaningless but still interesting fact.) And about half of it, 225 years in the accumulation, has been piled up in just the last thirteen years of slash-taxes-at-the-top-and-the benefits-will-surely-trickle-down Republican leadership. The Republicans were right to applaud the Kennedy tax cut from 90% to 70%, and Reagan was right to lower that 70% to 50% and then to want to take it even lower. I just think history shows that he overshot in taking it all the way down to 28%, and that Bush 41 undershot in allowing it to rise back only to 31%. I think Clinton/Gore, with the benefit of this experience, got it just about right, at 39.6%. It was still a great time for those at the top; but the bond market was pleased, deficits turned to surpluses, and there was even the prospect of enough money to do things like a prescription drug benefit for your grandmother. The $4 trillion question ($4 trillion being my guess at what we would add to the national debt between now and 2020 if the Bush tax cut were fully phased in and made permanent) is: Why didn’t President Bush learn from experience? What was there about the highly successful 1993-2000 economy that would make him want to try the old way again?

MOVE OVER, CITRONELLA CANDLES – HERE COMES THE DEW

Gordon: ‘I don’t drink anything diet, so I don’t know about the alleged nonattractiveness of such beverages to bugs. What I do know is that regular Mountain Dew is the world’s best bug trap. Try using a bowl of it as a centerpiece at your next picnic, and watch the bodies pile up.’

STUPID v EVIL – part deux

Michael LeBoeuf: ‘You write: ‘As a liberal, I don’t think conservatives are evil, just a tad selfish and short-sighted from time to time.’ As a conservative, I don’t think liberals are stupid, just a tad naive and overly idealistic from time to time. [Well, we are that. But only from time to time. – A.T.] Actually, I think a first-class society needs first-rate liberal and conservative minds in much the same way a car needs an accelerator and a brake. We need liberal ideas to push us forward and conservative ideas to keep us from going over a cliff.’

John Lemon: ‘Of course, anecdotal evidence suggests that at least one (compassionate) conservative can be both stupid and evil.’

☞ Whomever could you mean? Although the truth is he’s definitely not stupid (except by comparison with his mostly very bright peers), and I would reiterate my own view: not evil, either – just a tad selfish and short-sighted. The only problem is that in his position, short-sighted has enormous, heartbreaking repercussions.

NEITHER STUPID NOR EVIL?

Just ineffective? In over his head? In the wrong place at the wrong time? Treasury Secretary O’Neill has won more or less uniform mediocre reviews, at best, so it was with interest that I read Matt Miller‘s more hopeful recent column:

DON’T BASH PAUL O’NEILL – CLONE HIM
By Matthew Miller

Cries for Paul O’Neill’s head grow louder with every drop in the Dow. But to restore the shattered confidence in corporate America that helped spark the market meltdown, Wall Street shouldn’t bash Paul O’Neill – it should clone him.

To be sure, O’Neill will never have Bob Rubin’s gift for calming markets. Rubin tended to say little of substance that was different from what the Bush team is now saying – ‘the fundamentals of the economy are sound,’ etc. – but his presence reminded folks that a former trader who could empathize with the Street’s psychoses and gyrations was on the job. (Of course, it didn’t hurt that the fundamentals were better then, too.)

It’s not clear, however, that even Rubin could find words to ease the bursting of a bubble. One of the unappreciated ways that great public officials become great is via great timing; Rubin wisely left town long before ‘irrational exuberance’ hit the wall. But if, depressingly, there’s no sure tonic for the sell-off beyond time, pain and the return of sensible valuations, O’Neill is just what the doctor ordered when it comes to the high-integrity corporate governance needed for the era ahead.

The only problem is that O’Neill’s experience makes Bush’s and Cheney’s stints in the executive suite look suspect and shabby by comparison.

For starters, O’Neill’s tenure at Alcoa was the antithesis of all those financial engineering schemes that left the CEO rich and others holding the bag. O’Neill made his money the old-fashioned way – by building value. His team transformed an old economy company in what ‘everyone knew’ was a losing industry into a superior performer that lifted the stock 800 percent in his 13 years at the helm.

O’Neill accomplished this with values largely missing from today’s CEO playbook. He made a fetish of workplace safety, reasoning that the foundation for employee support for management’s strategy was an ironclad commitment to worker well-being.

When O’Neill showed up at Alcoa, he told his CFO, ‘I don’t ever want to be accused of or guilty of managing earnings’ in ways that don’t reflect operating reality. ‘It never occurred to me,’ he told Jim Lehrer recently, ‘that this isn’t what all CEOs do.’

O’Neill asked that his base salary be set below the median of CEOs in similar firms, with options making him wealthy only if he beat the competition handily. By his own choice, O’Neill was also the only inside director at Alcoa – the rest were independent. ‘I wanted my directors to be my strongest, friendliest critics,’ he says, adding that their candor – a departure from the kabuki-like board discourse that’s the norm – helped him avoid some big mistakes.

O’Neill lacks the patience or instincts to succeed in Washington’s PR game – which matters because, to be effective, perceptions count. But he’s got a fascinating mind. In a wide-ranging conversation we had in his office recently, covering everything from health care to education and fiscal policy, there was plenty I disagreed with. But you can’t deny that O’Neill has uncommon powers of analysis and a rare ability to make you re-examine and defend your premises.

This sensibility has O’Neill pushing an idea that’s not getting the attention it deserves. O’Neill wants to require outside audit firms to tell each of its clients how its internal audit practices compare to the best in the world. The notion is that if a company knew it was going to be ranked from, say, 1 to 5 by its auditor, and that this ranking was going to be shared with the audit committee and shareholders, the CFO would have an enormous incentive not to be judged anything but a ‘1.’

‘It would tighten things up in a marvelous way,’ O’Neill says.

Why was this practical idea – which would do more to cure what ails us than all the death penalties for CEOs being rushed into law by the politicians – omitted from Bush’s recent speeches? Simple, as O’Neill told CNBC: ‘Because there are so many people working on the issues who have never been on a board (and) don’t know what they’re doing.’

You have to love a guy willing to say something like that in public about the White House staff. Which is why a lot of beltway snipers – including some on his own team – would just as soon see O’Neill leading by example back in the private sector.

Columnist Matt Miller is a senior fellow at Occidental College in Los Angeles and host of ‘Left, Right & Center’ on KCRW-FM in Los Angeles.

☞ I’d still feel a whole lot better with Bob Rubin or Larry Summers in the job, as I suspect Matt Miller (and surely Wall Street) would, too. And I also suspect that all companies would rate either 1 or – in a very few cases – 2, under the system laid out above – just as about the worst a stock is ever rated is ‘Hold’ and nearly the worst insurance rating you can get from the big insurance-rating agencies and still be solvent is ‘A’ or ‘very good.’ Still, I hope Matt’s assessment of our Treasury Secretary is spot on. We liberals may be stupid, but not stupid enough to root for a bad economy.

Have a great weekend.

One Stupid Liberal Curled Up at the Movies with a Diet Coke

August 1, 2002February 21, 2017

THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE

If you’re old enough to remember movies like ‘Love Story’ and ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ and ‘Chinatown’ and ‘The Godfather’ – see it: ‘The Kid Stays in the Picture.’ And don’t leave when the credits start to roll – you’ll miss the best part.

COKE AND DIET COKE

Konrad: ‘I just wanted to add one of the many benefits diet drinks offer. When drinking something sweetened by an artificial sweetener and you’re outside, you’ll notice no bugs flying around your drink.’

CONSERVATIVES ARE EVIL, LIBERALS ARE STUPID

Herewith an insightful column from Charles Krauthammer. Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Liberals think conservatives are evil. As a conservative, Krauthammer thinks liberals are stupid to think conservatives are evil. (As a liberal, I don’t think conservatives are evil, just a tad selfish and short-sighted from time to time.)

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